Flashbacks
by lisbonandjanealways
Summary: It's been five years since Patrick Jane left the CBI, and upon his return to California, his intent is confessing his feelings to the woman he loves after years of silence. But things do not go as planned. No copyright infringement intended. Complete.
1. Chapter 1

**I suppose I am an idiot cramming one more thing into my schedule, but I had a strange dream the other night, and I decided to turn that dream into a fic! An angsty oneshot, possibly multi-chapter, if I get enough requests :)**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

He was making his way through the frustrating crowd at City Hall, searching for the one face he had been longing, aching, _needing_ to see for the past five years. Rumor had it that his old CBI team was at this very banquet. It felt good to be back in California, and as soon as he was in town, he headed straight for City Hall.

Everyone was dressed in elegant clothing. Women wore backless dresses, hemlines falling to the floor. Men wore black ties, just as he did. He looked around anxiously, desperately trying to find the woman he had forced himself to spend half a decade without. The woman who he hadn't realized he loved until after he left. He wanted to see her. He _needed _to see her.

He spotted the other three first.

They were all gathered around a table in the corner of the room. Grace wore a floor length red gown that accentuated the red hair that was now weaved into some sort of design on her head. Rigsby and Cho wore tuxes, just like all the other men. They had glasses of champagne in their hands, chatting, smiling. He made his way over to them in a hurry. Grace was the first to notice him, and when she did, her entire face lit up, and she set her glass down, running to meet him halfway and throwing her arms around his neck. "Jane!" she shrieked in his ear.

He couldn't help but smile. He had missed her. He had missed them all. He put his arms around Van Pelt and let out a laugh. "Hi Grace."

The other two were now rushing over to him. They peeled Grace off of Jane and gave him awkward side-hugs.

"Hey man! What the hell happened to you?" Rigsby exclaimed, grinning.

"Did you fall off the face of the Earth? We haven't seen you in _years_!" Despite Cho's patronizing words, an unfamiliar smile was beginning to form on his face, clearly happy to be reunited with his friend again.

"Seriously!" Grace added. "Where have you been?"

He smiled at all of them, amused by their interrogating questions. "Vermont, actually."

They all stared at him, until Cho spoke all of their minds.

"What the _hell_ were you doing in Vermont?"

"Living there." He paused. "After Red John was killed, I decided I needed a fresh start." He pressed his lips together. "That's why I left."

They all exchanged glances, but shrugged it off and offered him a glass of champagne.

He shook his head, declining their invitations. "Actually, I'm looking for Lisbon. Is she here?"

Their smiles faded, and they looked at one another again, worried expressions on their faces.

_Oh no. She can't be…_

He cleared his throat. "She's not… dead, is she?"

"No!" Grace cried. "No, she isn't dead. She's, uh, she's here." She turned and looked around for her. "I'm pretty sure I saw her near the dance floor talking to LaRoche."

Jane made a disgusted sound. "LaRoche still works for the CBI?"

They all nodded gravely.

He sighed. "Alright. I'm going to go find her." He turned to leave when he felt a hand on his arm.

"Jane, wait. Why don't you, um, stay and talk to us for a while?" Rigsby suggested, looking at the others for support, who all nodded. "We haven't seen you in five damn years! We probably have some catching up to do!" He walked over to Grace and took her hand, the corners of his lips curving upward. "Like… did you know that we're married?"

Jane's eyes widened. "What about the rules?"

"Lisbon found a way to have them altered." Grace smiled. "We just celebrated our second anniversary. And…" She set a hand on her stomach.

Jane gasped. "_Grace. _You're pregnant?"

Wayne and Grace both nodded ecstatically. "I'm only about six weeks along," Grace explained. "But yes. We're having a baby!"

"Wow. Wow! Congratulations, you guys." He was in a daze. "Just… wow." He had missed so much. A lot could happen in five years!

Cho held up his left hand, revealing a gold wedding band. "I proposed to Elise last year. We got married in June."

Patrick's eyes got impossibly wider, guilt all of a sudden washing over him when he realized how much he missed while he was away. "_Wow,_" was all he could say. Despite how happy he was for every single one of them, he still needed to find Lisbon. He glanced around for her again. "I really don't want to be rude, but I need to find Lisbon." He turned and walked away without giving any of them a chance to protest. He immediately regretted just walking away without promising to return later, but he knew if he turned back, they'd make him stay.

As he walked - sped walked, really - he passed many familiar faces that glanced at him in surprise, obviously shocked by his return. But they offered him polite smiles and occasional hellos. He returned them, but kept moving. He was on a mission.

A mission to find lost love.

He caught sight of LaRoche, chatting with people Jane had never seen before. He rushed over to him and rudely interrupted their conversation. "Hello, sir. Remember me?"

The agent looked at him irritably, but his expression softened when he saw who was standing before him. "Patrick Jane?" he whispered, then laughed humorlessly. Very LaRoche-like. "Well, I'll be damned. What are you doing here?"

"I'm here to visit my team."

LaRoche eyed him suspiciously. "How have you been?"

Jane resisted the urge to huff. He wasn't looking for small talk. _Especially _not from LaRoche. He wanted to find Lisbon. "Well. Yourself?"

"Good."

"Glad to hear it," he lied. He looked around, searching for the one he was really looking for. "Have you seen Lisbon?"

"Teresa? Yeah, I was just talking to her." He pointed to the opposite end of the room. "Behind that crowd of people is where I thought I saw her go."

"Thanks." He hurried away, weaving through the people that were packed together so tightly they might as well all be holding hands. He even had to politely squeeze himself through a couple that was swaying to the music because there was just no other way around them. He looked this way and that, for the face that had been planted in his head for five years.

Then, he caught a glimpse of unmistakable raven-black curls.

His heart stopped, and his breath hitched in his throat.

She wore a stunning emerald gown, and just by his memory, he knew that the dress would accent her eyes. There was no doubt in his mind. Her back was to him. Her hair was worn down, and longer than he remembered, flowing a little past her shoulder blades. She had a glass of champagne in her right hand, and she was talking to a woman he didn't recognize.

_This is it, _he thought. _Tell her how you feel. How you've felt._

So, he found his courage, and started to make his way over to her. As he got closer, various memories began rushing through his mind. He thought back to the time when they danced at that high school reunion. He thought about when they had been kidnapped together by that insane Rachel girl. He remembered all their bickering and fighting.

He replayed the day he left. How he left her standing there, tears streaming down her face, and he didn't even look back.

Little had he known that just three days later, he would realize that he loved her.

He shoved that thought out of his mind and continued on his mission.

He was getting closer, only about ten feet away, when something happened that changed everything.

"Mommy!" he heard a little girl's voice call. He stopped in his tracks. He watched Lisbon turn her head in the direction the voice had come from, and he gasped at her profile. She was even more beautiful than he remembered.

It took him a second to process what was really going on.

A girl, who couldn't have been older than three years old, came running into view wearing a pink dress. She hurled herself at Lisbon, who was now kneeling down with her arms outstretched. She cocooned the little girl and stood up straight, smiling apologetically at the woman in front of her, who smiled back and waved goodbye. The girl pulled back too look at her mother, a giant smile on her face. She had the same black curls and startling green eyes.

Before Jane could piece his brain together and realize what was happening, a man approached Lisbon, grinning. Jane's old boss turned her head, smiling, and let the man plant a short kiss on her lips.

Patrick's heart was now beating at a rapid pace.

And it was breaking at the same time.

Lisbon and the man exchanged a quick conversation before she handed the little girl over to him. He turned and walked in the opposite direction, kissing his daughter on the cheek.

Jane watched as Lisbon dropped her hands to her side, and it was only then did he notice the ring on her left hand.

Rigsby was right. They _had _had some catching up to do.

His head was spinning. His eyes were blurred with forbidden tears. His hands were clenched in fists. He was biting his bottom lip so hard he could have drawn blood, but he didn't care. His heart was broken. He'd put himself through pain and hell for the past five years, convincing himself that returning to her would be a huge mistake, and that she wouldn't want to see him. When he finally builds up the courage to face the woman he loved, he finds her with someone else. Married. With a child.

He couldn't watch this. He couldn't do this.

But just as he was about to flee, she turned.

And she noticed him.

The pleasant smile faded from her lips, replaced with a look of pure shock. Her eyes filled with confusion as they locked with his. She held his gaze, the familiar look of hurt settling over her features. _Oh no. _He recognized that look. He remembered it all too well.

He didn't know what to do. Should he run? Stay? Talk to her? Anything but stand there like an idiot and stare at her all night!

She made it easy. She slowly made her way over to him, and his heart sped up. She never took her eyes off of him while she walked. Her face never changed its emotion. Jane didn't move, either.

She stopped when she was in front of him, and just stared into his eyes. At first, he feared she was going to punch him. He probably wouldn't blame her. He deserved it. But she didn't hit him. Instead, she opened her mouth and spoke, but it wasn't what he expected her to say.

"How much of that did you see?"

Hearing her voice after so long made his stomach do that stupid flip that he hadn't felt since his teenage years.

He smiled sadly. "All of it."

She nodded understandingly, carefully reading what was beyond his eyes. "A lot has changed since you went away."

For whatever reason, her words stung him.

The two just stared at each other for a while, attempting to guess what the other was thinking. They tried to look past the fake smiles to see just how much pain the other was in.

It seemed as if Lisbon snapped out of the frozen state she was in and she smiled. "It's really good to see you," she said. She took a step toward him and hugged him briefly, catching him off guard, and he resented himself that he was too surprised to hug her back.

He tried to smile. "You too," he croaked. From across the room, he saw Lisbon's - or whatever her last name was - husband and daughter, and his heart sank a little more. "How old is she?" he whispered.

She followed his gaze, and smiled at the sight of her little girl. "My baby? She just turned three."

"What's her name?"

"Avery." She looked back at him.

That was a beautiful name. "Last name?"

She knew exactly what he was saying. He wasn't asking for the child's last name. He was asking for _her _last name.

"Our last name is Corbin."

Jane looked across the room at her daughter again. "She really is beautiful, Lis-" He stopped, eyeing her questioningly. She wasn't Lisbon anymore.

"Teresa," she said, clarifying things. "And thank you."

"She looks a lot like you."

She nodded, smiling again. "Yeah, we get that a lot." She paused. "Jane, what are you really doing here?"

An overwhelming sensation of pain shot straight through him. Was she really that oblivious? "What the hell do you think I'm doing here, Teresa?" he whispered.

A look of hurt flashed in her eyes. She sighed. "I have to get back to my family." She smiled softly. "It was really good to see you." With that, she threw him a little wave, turned on her heel, and left him with nothing but confusion and a newfound heartbreak.

And he thought back to the day he left, remembering everything…

**So? Continue? Or leave it as a cliff-hanging, heartbreakingly angsty oneshot? If it does continue as a multi-chapter, just know it will be extremely angsty, and you may not like how it turns out, if you're a Jisbon fan. Your call. Thanks for reading!**


	2. Chapter 2

**It took me a while to choose, but I made my decision! I'm continuing. If you were one of the few that wanted me to leave it a oneshot, don't read this next chapter! I don't want to ruin it for you. To those who DID want me to continue, I'm going to warn you that you may not like how this story ends up. Just saying ;)**

**Disclaimer: Not mine.**

_Five years earlier…_

"_Jane?" he heard her voice behind him. "Are… are you alright?"_

_He sighed, turning away from his window in the attic to face her. "Yes," he replied flatly. "I'm fine."_

"_You don't seem fine."_

"_Well, I am," he snapped. "And I don't need your sympathy, Lisbon. You've done quite enough. Now please leave me alone."_

_Despite his words, she took a step closer._

_But he stepped back. "Don't."_

_She stopped, hurt plain on her face. "Jane…"_

_He took another step back. "I said _don't._"_

"_Jane. He was going to kill you."_

"_I can take care of myself."_

_She threw her arms up, exasperated. "Right!" she cried. "An infamous serial killer, known for cutting people open and using their blood as finger-paint, was coming at you with a nine-inch-blade knife, and you could have taken him with your bare hands!" Tears leaked out of her eyes and streamed down her cheeks. "That's _really _impressive, Jane."_

"_Lisbon-"_

"_No!" she screamed. "Listen to me! I wasn't going to let him kill you."_

"_One of us had to die, Lisbon," Jane pointed out. "I would have rather died trying to kill him, rather than having someone else shoot him down so I could live."_

_She stared at him, incredulous, the tears still flowing out of her eyes. He wasn't sure what she was going to do. Scream? Walk away? But no. She lunged forward and shoved him as hard as she could, knocking him against the wall. His eyes widened. "Lisbon!"_

"_You selfish bastard!" she wailed. "Don't you get that this world doesn't revolve around _you_?"_

"_What are you talking about?"_

_Her breaths were coming in small, anxious pants. Her tears were coming as sobs. Her self-control was officially limited, and Jane was appalled. He'd never seen her like this before. "Maybe _you _didn't care who was going to die!" she exclaimed. "But I did! There was no way I was going to let you die!"_

_He didn't know what to say._

_But she kept going. "I wasn't going…" She took a break to suck in a deep breath, attempting to control her voice. "…to just _stand _there and watch you die." Unable to control herself anymore, she dropped her head in her hands and sobbed._

_This was definitely not his Lisbon._

_Not sure what to do, he stepped forward and took her in his arms. She didn't hesitate to melt into him, burying her face in his chest. She let him hold her. He wrapped his arms around her, laying his chin on the crown of her head, squeezing his eyes shut. She was still crying, but she had calmed down a little. She kept uttering apologies, begging him to forgive her. He just shushed her, telling her everything would be alright._

_It wasn't until she muttered three simple words into his chest that changed everything._

"_I love you."_

* * *

He returned to his team with a look of pure sorrow on his face.

They were waiting for him. They had been expecting this.

"Sorry, Jane," Grace apologized sincerely, putting a hand on his arm, but he just shrugged it off.

"It's fine," he mumbled.

Rigsby added, "Yeah, man. We didn't know how to tell you."

Cho nodded.

"It's fine," Jane repeated.

"No. We should have warned you," Grace insisted. "We-"

"I said it's fine," he snapped, harsher than he meant. He smiled apologetically. "Sorry guys, but I should get going. It's getting pretty late."

"It's eight o'clock," Cho pointed out.

"Yeah, well. Things are different these days."

"How so?"

"I sleep. Sometimes."

Grace and Wayne snickered.

Jane smiled. "See you guys later." He turned away.

"Wait, Jane! Will you be in town for long?" Grace asked.

"Another week or so," he replied.

"Do you have the same number?"

He shook his head.

"Well, I do," she told him. "Give us a call."

After promising them he'd call, he kept walking, making his way for the exit. He had been entirely too overwhelmed by tonight's events and he was desperate to get out of there. He was ashamed to admit that he wanted to be away from the people he loved and had missed all these years, but he needed space. For now, anyway. Space to deal with his recent heartbreak, and the devastating fact that the woman he loved was married, and a _mother._

But he never made it to the exit.

"Jane! Wait up!" he heard her voice behind him.

His heart sped up as he turned around and watched her make her way through the crowd. Her child was settled on her hip, the girl's arms wrapped around her neck. Teresa weaved through the mess of people, finally reaching him. "Hey! Where are you going?" she demanded.

"Uh, back to my hotel." He glanced at the little girl in her arms.

Teresa followed his gaze, smiling. She looked up at him again. "This is my daughter, Avery." She looked at her daughter. "Avery, sweetie, can you say hello to Mr. Jane?"

The girl looked up at him shyly. "Hi, Mr. Jane."

Jane smiled. "Hello, Avery. I'm Patrick." He looked at Teresa again. "She's beautiful."

Her smile widened. "Thank you." She looked around. "My husband was around here somewhere, but I lost him." She rolled her eyes. "He's probably off mingling. He does that. He's the social butterfly of the family." She continued her search, turning around and then turning back to Jane. "That's too bad. I wanted him to meet you."

"Another time, maybe," he suggested.

Her face lit up. "Definitely! How long will you be in town?"

"A week or so."

"Great! We should do dinner." Hearing the reality of her words, she quickly revised. "So my husband can meet you."

Jane nodded. "I'd like that."

"Me too. Give me a call. My number is-"

"I remember it," he interrupted her.

There was a silence between them, until Avery yawned and Teresa asked her, "Are you tired, honey?"

The little girl nodded. "We go home, Mommy?"

"Yes, baby. As soon as I find Daddy."

"Bye, Avery." Jane smiled warmly at the child and waved with his fingers. Then, he looked at Teresa. "Goodbye, Lisbon."

He could tell that calling her by her maiden name surprised her. Clearly, she hadn't been called Lisbon in a while.

With that, he turned on his heel and fled.

* * *

_Patrick Jane pulled back and stared at her tear-streaked face, keeping her shoulders in his grip. "What did you just say?"_

_Lisbon sniffed, wiping at her eyes. She stood up straight, pulling her shoulders back under his firm hands. "I said I loved you," she confessed in a small voice._

"_W-why?" he asked her._

"_Why what!" she demanded._

"_Why did you say it?"_

"_Because… because I meant it."_

_He was silent._

_Her face fell. "You're not going to say anything back, are you?"_

_He dropped his hands from his shoulders, still staring at her. "You don't really mean it."_

"_What makes you so sure?"_

_He took a cautious step back. "Because… you're you. And I'm me."_

"_Are you implying that you're better than me?"_

"_I'm implying that _you're _better than _me_."_

"_Idiot."_

"_I beg your pardon?"_

"_You heard me."_

_She stared him down, daggers shooting out of her fierce green eyes. This time, Jane was the one who had to look away._

"_Jane," she whispered._

_He didn't meet her eyes. "I'm not good for you, Lisbon."_

"_Why do you say that?"_

"_I'm broken," he murmured. "I need fixing. I can't ask you to be the one who fixes me. It isn't fair to you."_

"_And I'm _not _broken?" she retorted._

"_You are a lot more stable than I am."_

"_I don't care!" she exclaimed, making Jane jump. "I'm _tired, _Jane! I'm so damn tired of pretending like there isn't something between us!" _

_She was crying again. This was _very _un-Lisbon-like._

"_Lisbon…" He reached out to touch her but she jerked away._

_She looked at him with her red-rimmed green eyes. "I'm sorry." She wiped at her eyes again. "It's just… how I feel."_

_He was at loss for words, a rare occurrence. He wanted so badly to tell her that he felt the same way, that everything would be okay._

_But he didn't like lying to her, regardless of how many times he had done it in the past._

"_I don't love you, Lisbon," he said flatly, knowing he sounded like a heartless son of a bitch. It broke his heart to do that to her. Seeing her face go from sad to broken-hearted to completely crumpled was the most painful thing he'd gone through in a long time._

_She bowed her head, letting the tears continue to stream down her face._

_So he walked out of the attic without looking back, and then he left Sacramento. Without looking back._

**TBC? Sorry if you were one of the ones who wanted it to stay a oneshot. **_**I **_**had to continue, because **_**I**_** wanted to know what happened ;)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you for the reviews!**

**Disclaimer: Nothing is mine.**

Sleep didn't come to him easily. He was lying in bed in his hotel room, hands behind his head, staring up at the dark ceiling. The light was off. It was silent. There was nothing to distract him from every thought that was running through his mind.

Teresa Lisbon, _his Lisbon, _was married. Married! Five years ago, even just picturing his boss getting married was such a strange image. She'd never been one who was dedicated to relationships. The few dates he'd remembered her going on didn't even make it to the second date. She claimed that she wasn't interested in dating, and that she just hadn't found the right one. Jane had believed her.

Little did he know that she actually _had _found the right one. Himself.

And he just walked away.

* * *

"_You have one new message," the monotonic woman on his voicemail informed him as he sped out of Sacramento, car filled with a few suitcases and boxes. He sighed, leaning back in his seat as he drove with one hand._

"_Hey, Jane. It's me," came Lisbon's soft voice. "Listen. I- I'm sorry. About everything," she apologized, sounding truly sincere. "About… Red John. And fighting with you. And… and being so honest last night." She spoke the last sentence quieter than the rest. She sounded… ashamed. "I, uh, noticed that you didn't come in for work today, and I understand. You have a lot on your mind. I think it'd be good for you to take a few days off. But I just… wanted you to know that I'm sorry. And I hope that what I said last night doesn't change anything. For the worst, anyway."_

_There was a pause, and then a final _click.

_Jane pulled his phone away from his ear, gazing at it sadly before shutting it. "Sorry, Lisbon," he said. "But I'm taking more than just a few days off."_

* * *

He knocked on the door, hoping he had the right address. He turned and glanced around the neighborhood. The typical suburb neighborhood. Cul-de-sac, kids riding their bikes, even an ice cream truck playing its annoying-as-hell music.

The front door suddenly opened, and he was relieved to see Grace standing before him. But she didn't look so good.

"Hey, Jane!" Her voice sounded surprisingly cheerful, considering the condition she seemed to be in. She was in a pair of sweatpants and an oversized white shirt that had to be her husband's. Her red hair was pulled up into a mess on top of her head. Her face seemed pale, even slightly green. She had bags under her eyes. She looked exhausted.

"Um, hi, Grace." He studied her. "You don't look too great."

"Morning sickness." She shrugged.

He gave her a sympathetic smile. "Oh, that's right! I forgot." He glanced down at her stomach. She wasn't showing at all.

"Come on in!" She motioned with her hand, and he stepped into the house.

It was a small house, but cute. Totally Grace style. One floor, modern knickknacks everywhere. But it was the pictures in frames that caught his eye. They were lined up on a little table against the wall. Most of them were of Wayne and Grace. The Rigsbys on their wedding day, on vacation, or just in the office. But there was one picture in particular that made him smile. It was of the five of them, him and his old team, huddled together and smiling for a picture, which was taken by Hightower so long ago, before she took off.

"Wayne should be back soon," Grace informed him as she lowered herself onto the couch, holding her stomach. "He just went to the grocery store."

"What about work?" he asked.

"It's Sunday."

"Oh," he replied, remembering. "I was actually coming to see you," Jane said, taking a seat in a chair across the room from her. "Well, both of you. I didn't feel like sitting around in that hotel all day."

She nodded, understanding. "Look, Jane. I know we've already been over this, but I really am sorry. About last night."

"Grace, it wasn't your fault."

She shrugged. "I know it wasn't. But I could have at least warned you. _We_ could have."

But he just shook his head. "She has every right to be happy," he said. "Especially after what I did to her."

"She told me."

"She did?"

"She didn't want to. I sort of… forced it out of her." She smiled sheepishly. "She moped around for about six months after you took off. She lost so much weight, if that's even possible. She was _tiny. _Smaller than she is now!" Grace shook her head. "So I finally pulled her aside, asking her what exactly happened between the two of you. She broke down in my arms, Jane. I've never seen her so upset in my entire life."

Jane stayed silent, the guilt arising in him.

"But then she met Ben. The color seemed to return to her eyes, and she smiled again." Grace pulled her legs up onto the couch and hugged her knees. "They met at Marie's. Imagine that. He actually slammed into her while he was in a hurry, and made her spill her coffee. Oh, you can only imagine how pissed off she was!"

Jane chuckled, picturing this.

"Ben apologized to her, offering to buy her another coffee, but she just turned and walked away."

Why was she telling him all this?

"The next day, when she walked into Marie's, he was standing there, inside, holding out a coffee to her and smiling. She took it from him, the two got talking, and before you knew it, they were friends.

"They didn't get along at first," Grace went on. "Well, sort of. But it was more like… your guys' relationship. Arguing, eye-rolling, teasing and all that." She looked up at him, directly in the eye. "I think she must fall for men who like to fight with her."

* * *

_He was thinking about her while he was in bed at some motel in Utah, three days after he fled California. He thought about all of the terrible things he said to her, and how he pushed her away as soon as she put her heart on the line._

_Even though he was still pissed off, he missed her already. He missed those fiery green eyes that shot daggers at him whenever he made her angry. He missed the raven-black hair that taunted him to the point where he had to nearly force himself not to reach up and run his fingers through it. He missed the way her lips would twitch out of that stubborn smirk and curve up as she started to laugh at him. _

_That's when he realized it._

_He did love her._

* * *

Jane heard the front door open and close, and Wayne called out, "Grace? Jane?" He'd obviously spotted the blue Citroen.

"In here," Grace replied.

Wayne came into the living room with a bag of groceries in his arms, smiling sympathetically at his wife and handing her a Sprite. He leaned down to kiss her gently on the lips before turning to Jane. "Hey, man."

Jane smiled at him. "Hello, Rigsby."

"What brings you here?"

He shrugged. "I was lonely."

Wayne nodded, setting the bag down on the coffee table. "How are you doing?" he asked him. Even without saying it, Jane knew he was referring to the events that had occurred the night before at the banquet.

"Good," Jane answered simply.

Grace leaned forward. "I have to ask."

"Alright." He folded his arms.

"Do you still love her?"

"Grace, we could be talking about _the Titanic _and you would still find a way to turn it back to Lisbon and I."

"Oh, come on, Jane! Answer the question!"

"Grace-"

"Answer the damn question, Jane," Rigsby said. "We're all wondering."

"Who's we?"

He motioned to Grace and himself. "Us. And Cho. And Elise."

"Elise?"

"According to Cho," Grace informed him.

"I don't even know Elise."

"Jane, that isn't the point right now!" Rigsby said, exasperated. "Do you, or do you not, still have feelings for Teresa?"

"Who said I ever had feelings for her?"

Neither of them answered. They each gave him a skeptical look, like he was a complete idiot.

"What?"

"It was _so _obvious." Grace smiled.

Rigsby nodded.

Jane was about to argue, but just sighed, deciding it was no good. "Even _if _I did," he said slowly. "it wouldn't matter. She's married to this… _Ben _guy. Not to mention the kid." He looked at the ground. "_If _I still had feelings for her - if - then I'd have no chance. I'd be too late."

"That isn't what we asked, Jane!" Rigsby exclaimed.

"Trust us, Jane. We know all about that stuff. _We_ were here." Grace took a sip of her Sprite.

Jane glared at her. "Are you done trying to make me feel guilty?" he snapped. "Yes, I missed you all like crazy. Yes, I know I shouldn't have left. Yes, I regret it. Yes, I wish I had been here. Are you happy?"

"That wasn't where she was going with that, Jane," Wayne said defensively. "She's just trying to get you to _answer the damn question._"

"Yes," Patrick blurted without even thinking, immediately regretting it. He sighed, shutting his eyes and bringing his hand to his forehead.

The room was still.

"Y-yes?" Grace stammered. "As in, _yes, I know that that isn't what she meant, _or as in, _yes is the answer to the question_?"

The Rigsbys watched him, as if they were expecting a spectacular answer coming from him. He just sighed, defeated, and answered, "The question."

It seemed like the silence that followed lasted forever. Grace and Wayne both just blinked, eyes fixed directly on him. Of course, they had been expecting this answer. Who hadn't been expecting this?

"Just… don't do anything stupid, Jane," Wayne told him softly.

In other words, _don't try to break them up. It won't work. _That wasn't Jane's plan. Lisbon was clearly happy with her husband and child. No matter how many tricks he had pulled in the past, it was never his intention to make her unhappy.

"I won't," he finally replied.

**Thanks for reading! Next chapter will be Lisbon's POV ;)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you for the wonderful reviews! You guys are awesome ****J**

**Disclaimer: If I owned the Mentalist, Jane and Lisbon would be together by now. So no, nothing is mine.**

"Avery, baby, _please _don't do that," Teresa begged her daughter desperately as she tried to focus on the paperwork in front of her. The little girl was running around their living room, screaming at the top of her lungs for no particular reason. A typical three-year-old.

Ben set the newspaper down and glanced up at his wife. "Honey, you work way too hard. It's _Sunday. _You should be enjoying your days off."

She brought a hand to her face and sighed. "I wish I could," she muttered.

Teresa felt a hand wrap around hers, gently pulling it away from her face. When her eyelids drifted open, she was gazing into her husband's beautiful hazel eyes. He had a faint smile on his lips. "Don't be so hard on yourself," he whispered. "You're wonderful." He leaned toward her and kissed her softly, pulling back and smiling before picking up his newspaper again.

She was amazed that he still had the ability to make her heart pound like crazy.

She leaned back in her chair, exhaling deeply. She let her eyes close. She was exhausted. She hadn't gotten much sleep the night before. Even though she was ashamed to admit it to even herself, the sleepless night had to do with Patrick Jane's unexpected return. She had been lying awake, thinking of the painfully confused expression on his face when he saw her with her family.

Why had he come back? Was it simply to visit the team after half a decade of silence? Or was it because he felt guilty about the way he left things?

It was almost like Ben had been reading her mind.

"What are you thinking about?" he asked as he lifted their squealing daughter into his lap.

Teresa looked at him. "Nothing," she lied.

"Stop that."

"Stop what?"

"Lying to me."

"I'm not lying!"

His lips twitched. "Believe me. I can tell when you're lying."

"You can not!"

"Yes, I can!"

She eyed him skeptically.

He smiled slightly. "You can tell me, hon."

She opened her mouth, but nothing came out. She just clamped her mouth shut and shook her head, turning back to her paperwork.

"Is it that blond guy from last night?" Ben asked her quietly.

Her mouth fell open. "_What_?"

He didn't look angry. Or jealous. He looked… compassionate. "Handsome guy. Blond, curly hair? The one you were talking to last night?" He let Avery lean her head on his shoulder. She looked so tired. "Is he what's bothering you?" Ben wondered.

How did he know her so well?

She sighed. "Not necessarily… bothering me," she confessed. "I was just surprised to see him there, that's all."

"Who is he?""An old colleague. His name is Patrick Jane."

"Were you two friends?"

Teresa analyzed the tone her husband used. It showed no sign of jealousy or possessiveness. Just curiosity.

"Yes," she admitted. "Very good friends."

He nodded, understanding. "Lovers?"

Teresa burst out laughing. "Me and _Jane?_ No. Just good friends."

"But you loved him."

"Of course. Don't you love your friends?" she said, attempting to cover up her shock. How in the hell could her husband read her so well?

The corners of his mouth curved up. "Teresa."

"Ben."

"Were you in love with him? It's okay if you were."

Ben reached a hand up and gently stroked Avery's dark hair. Her eyelids were now closed, and her breathing had shifted to long, deep breaths. In and out, in and out. She looked so peaceful. Like an angel.

But Ben still watched Teresa.

She came clean. "Yes," she whispered. "I was."

He smiled, satisfied that he finally got her to answer honestly. "Why didn't you ever tell me about him?"

She shrugged. "I guess I didn't want to bring him up."

"Why not?"

"Getting over him was probably the hardest thing I've ever had to do," she blurted. As soon as she said it, she brought a hand to her mouth. Had she really just said that out loud?

Ben reached across the table and took her hand. "I would love to meet him," he said. "Why don't you call and invite him for dinner tonight?"

"If I can find a way to get a hold of him, I will." She gave him a small smile, thinking about what an amazing husband she had. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

They both glanced at their daughter, content smiles on their faces.

"AJ," Teresa whispered to the girl. "Are you awake?"

There was no response.

Slowly, Ben stood up, Avery still in his arms. He turned and disappeared down the hallway to put Avery in her bed.

Leaving Teresa alone, with nothing but the silence to think about Jane. Again.

* * *

She felt like a stalker. She was searching Jane's credit card history to find out what hotel he was staying at (without a warrant) so that she could try and call him to invite him to dinner.

She finally found the name and address of the hotel. She typed the name into her laptop and found its website. She dialed the phone number on the screen.

Stalking Jane. This felt _so _wrong.

She asked the hotel manager to speak with a particular guest, and gave her Jane's name. The manager put Teresa on hold.

She held her breath…

"Hello?" came Jane's surprised voice.

"H-hi, Jane," she stuttered. "It's Teresa."

There was a pause on the other end, and Teresa wondered if he was going to hang up on her.

But he didn't. "Hey Teresa," he replied in his usual, cheerful voice.

She relaxed a little, smiling. "So listen. I was just talking to my husband-"

"Ben."

"Yes, Ben," she said, startled. "How did you know that?"

"Grace. I visited her this morning." He chuckled. "She filled me in on _everything _that has happened since I left."

_Since I left. _For some reason, the words made Teresa wince.

"Anyway," she continued. "I was just talking to Ben, and we would love to have you for dinner tonight."

"Yes," he answered, without even hesitating. "That would be great."

Teresa's lips twitched. "Great! Ben will be thrilled. He's excited to meet you."

As if on cue, her husband walked into the room, taking a seat at the table across from her.

"What time?" Jane asked.

"Six?"

"Great."

After giving him their address, they exchanged goodbyes and hung up the phone.

"So he's coming?" Ben said.

Teresa nodded, studying him. "Is that… okay?"

"Of course, sweetie!" He grinned, leaning across the table to kiss her forehead. "I would really love to meet him. Tell me all about him. What did you say his name was again?"

"Patrick Jane."

"Where have I heard that name before?"

Teresa laughed. "Oh, dear. Where do I begin?" She leaned back in her chair. "He's a former psychic. Well, now he claims that psychics don't exist. So, he was basically conning people. But he does have extraordinary abilities."

He slowly nodded his head. "So… he quit his job as a conman… to become a cop?"

To be honest, it didn't really make sense.

"Well, there's a story behind it," she explained.

"What's the story?"

All of a sudden, before she got the chance to answer her husband, Teresa had a flashback.

* * *

"_The victim's name is Brenna Lane. Fifteen years old, discovered by her younger brother," Lisbon informed her team, being very careful not to look her consultant directly in the eye, fearing what she might see. "The brother got off the bus after school and saw the red smiley face on his sister's bedroom door. When he opened it, he found Brenna…" Lisbon gestured to the bloodied body. "like this."_

"_Where are the parents?" Rigsby asked._

"_Work. They're on their way."_

_The whole team was throwing side-glances at Jane, but he just stuck his hands in his pockets, poking around the room like any other case, like this case didn't hit close to home. Too close._

_Cho's phone rang. "Hello?" he deadpanned as he flipped it open. "Yeah… yeah… yeah. Okay." He snapped it shut. "Coroners are on their way," he told the team._

_Rigsby, Van Pelt, and Cho all walked out of the room in a single-file line. Jane continued to search and pretend like everything was okay, but Lisbon didn't buy it._

"_Jane."_

"_I'm fine, Lisbon," he said, turning to face her._

"_No. You're not."_

"_What makes you think so?"_

_She rolled her eyes._

* * *

"I mean…" One side of her mouth pulled up involuntarily. "Okay. I'll show you."

Ben smiled, doubting this. "Oh, really?"

"Yep. Sit up straight."

He did.

So did she.

"Now, look me straight in the eyes."

He obeyed her, hazel lost in grass-green.

"Now, I want you to think of a shape. Like a circle, but not a circle. Think of it now," Teresa said.

Ben nodded, letting her know he was ready.

"Done?" she asked.

"Yep."

"Now, think of a smaller shape inside of that shape. Think of it now."

Ben's smile widened.

"Got it?" Teresa asked him.

He nodded.

"Now, project that image, of the two shapes, to the back of my mind."

"Teresa, baby, you're losing it."

"Just do it."

Ben sighed, and fell silent, staring into her eyes again.

"Did you do it?" she said.

He nodded again. "What am I thinking of?"

"I don't know."

He brought his hands together in mock applaud. "That was _brilliant, _Teresa. How _do_ you do it?"

Another smile tugged at her lips.

"What exactly was the point of that?" he wondered. "That's impossible. Nobody would have been able to do that."

"Patrick could," she told him, finally getting to her point. "Patrick could do anything."

**So, I tried to make Lisbon's husband likeable. However, it was REALLY hard to do, considering I absolute LOVE Patrick Jane. So, creating Ben Corbin wasn't easy to do. :P Thanks for reading! Review? ****J**


	5. Chapter 5

**Thank you for the reviews! I came up with a few ideas for the ending of this fic, which, by the way, won't be for a while.**

**Disclaimer: No. Not mine.**

He took long, deep breaths, before finally knocking on her door.

He fidgeted, straightening his shirt and shifting his weight from foot to foot. Maybe this wasn't a good idea. Maybe-

The door opened, and the same man he'd seen at the banquet gave him a warm smile. "Hi! Patrick, is it?"

Jane nodded, sticking a hand out. "Nice to meet you, Ben."

Teresa's husband shook his hand. A good, firm grasp. "Likewise." He dropped his hand, shoving both into his pockets. Jane did the same. "Would you like to come in?" Ben asked, stepping aside. Then, he chuckled. "Obviously. That's why you're here."

Jane smiled and stepped inside, into Teresa's house.

"Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!" came a little girl's voice from down the hall. Patrick looked up, and there was Avery, running at top speed toward her father. She launched herself into Ben's arms, who had knelt down at the sound of his daughter's voice. His face lit up, and he straightened, bringing Avery up with him.

"Avery, did you meet Mister Jane last night?" Ben asked the girl.

Suddenly, Avery noticed the stranger in her home, and she instantly became shy. She buried her face in her dad's shoulder.

Ben chuckled. "Ah, come on, AJ." He bounced her on his hip.

AJ?

"Can you say hello to Mister Jane?" Ben requested.

The child lifted her head, glancing at Jane for a brief second. "Hi," she said softly.

He grinned. "Hi, Avery." He looked up at her father again. "So, where's Teresa?"

"Right here," he heard her call. She emerged from a doorway by the living room, which he assumed was the kitchen, based on the oven mitts she wore on her hands. "Dinner will be ready in about half an hour." She motioned to the living room, filled with empty seats. "Please, make yourself at home." With that, she disappeared again.

Patrick watched as Ben gazed lovingly at his wife as she left the room. A small, content smile was fixed on his lips, and when he caught Patrick watching him, a hint of pink crept up his cheeks.

"Nothing to be embarrassed about," Jane assured him. "You love her."

Ben's smile widened. "I do." He glanced at his daughter. "Are you hungry, baby?"

"Yes!" the little girl exclaimed, clearly excited.

"I'll make you a sandwich in a few minutes, okay?"

Avery planted a kiss on her father's cheek, a sign of approval, and Ben set her down. She went bouncing down the hallway, where Jane assumed her bedroom was located. He was smiling as he watched her. Ben noticed this.

"Do you have children, Patrick?" he asked as they migrated into the living room.

Out of habit, Jane almost said no. It was a lot easier than explaining to Ben that his little girl was murdered by a psychopath, but he hesitated. He looked at Ben, who seemed like a kind, honest man, despite the fact that he was married to the woman he was in love with. Maybe Teresa had already told him the story.

So why lie to him?

"I did," Jane confessed.

A look of confusion crossed Ben's face. "Past tense?" he wondered softly.

Jane nodded.

There was a pause, and Ben said, "I'm guessing this is the story Teresa was referring to?"

"She told you the story?"

Ben shook his head. "I asked. But she didn't exactly answer. She just went into detail about your amazing mind powers."

Jane smiled. "What did she tell you?"

"Uh, she did the whole… shape inside of another shape thing?"

"And she pulled it off?"

"Not at all." Ben laughed. "She said _you _could pull it off." He eyed Jane, as if silently asking for proof.

"Alright. You know the drill," Jane said. "Think of a shape."

"Done."

"Think of a smaller shape inside of that shape."

"Done."

"Now… project those two shapes into the back of my mind. Do it now."

Ben smiled again. "Alright. I did it."

"You're thinking of a hexagon inside of a rectangle."

Ben's eyes widened. "Oh, wow. Teresa was right."

Jane chuckled.

"How the hell do you do that?" Ben demanded, curiosity sparking in his voice. "I mean… are you bluffing? Or are you just weird?"

Jane heard Teresa laugh out loud from the kitchen. Obviously, she'd heard that.

He beamed. "I'm just weird."

* * *

Teresa Corbin had become one hell of a cook.

Her lasagna was _to die for_.

They all sat around the table, including Avery. Ben, Teresa, and Patrick were making small talk.

"So, Patrick," Ben said after taking a bite of his lasagna. "How long are you visiting for?"

"A few more days."

"Where do you live in Vermont?"

"Montpelier." He paused to take a bite. "I'm not sure if I want to go back."

Teresa dropped her fork and looked up.

"Really?" Ben asked.

"Yes," Jane replied. "I've been moving around a lot during these past few years," he explained. "I may just… go someplace else."

"How long had you lived in California before you moved?"

"Oh, pretty much my entire life."

"Why'd you leave?"

Jane glanced at Teresa. She had her lips pressed together, staring off into space. But he knew that look. She was definitely paying attention.

"I needed a fresh start," he finally answered Ben's question.

"Have you ever considered moving back?" Ben asked.

Jane nodded. "Several times, actually."

This time, Teresa looked at him, eyes filled with hurt.

Ben cocked his head to one side. "What's stopping you?"

_Your wife. _"Oh, just… the past."

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Lisbon tense.

"What do you mean?" Ben said.

Just then, Avery pushed her plate off the table, sending it crashing to the ground.

Both parents jumped up. "Avery!" they scolded her in unison.

Teresa went hurrying to pick up the mess her daughter made, while Ben yanked Avery out of her chair and set her on the ground, pointing to the broken plate and scattered food. "See what you did?"

Avery said nothing.

"Why'd you do that, Avery?"

The little girl reached out and smacked her father on the cheek.

Teresa's jaw dropped. "AVERY!"

Ben picked his daughter up, speed-walking toward the hallway. "Avery Jane Corbin! We do _not _hit! You're going to time-out _right now_!"

Jane heard Avery start to wail as Ben walked her down the hall. But that isn't what he thought was important at this point.

Avery _Jane _Corbin.

Avery Jane.

AJ.

She named her daughter after him.

He stood up, slowly walking to the other side of the table as Lisbon was standing up with the broken glass in her hands, and she tossed the shattered plate into the trash. "Sorry about that," she said. "She gets a little rowdy sometimes."

But Patrick just stared at her.

When she finally realized what was going on in his mind, she turned beet red.

"You caught that, huh?"

He stayed silent.

"I can explain," she told him quietly.

He shook his head. "You have nothing to explain to me."

She was just about to say something else when Ben walked in, shaking his head. "That child," he mumbled.

Jane could still hear the far-off wails coming from Avery's bedroom.

"I'm so sorry about that, Patrick," Ben apologized.

Jane waved it off. "No big deal," he replied. "I actually should be going, anyway. Thank you so much for having me."

"Of course. It was nice meeting you."

"Thanks for dinner, Teresa," he said quickly, not even giving her a chance to respond before turning and fleeing.

**Do you want me to continue? Do you REALLY want me to continue? If so, PLEASE click that review button. I'd really appreciate it. :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**This chapter is pretty pointless. But like I mentioned in the author's note in my newest fic "Without You", I have had a bad case of writer's block lately. Not just with this one, but with my other fic, "The Same Blue Eyes". **

**Disclaimer: Not mine.**

"Is he okay?" Ben asked his wife, after Patrick had rushed out of their house. "He wasn't upset about Avery, was he?"

"No, no, no!" Teresa assured him, still staring at the front door. "He wasn't upset."

He eyed her suspiciously. "Did something happen between you two?"

"No," she answered, too quickly.

"Is it because of Avery's middle name?"

She winced, pulling back slightly. "W-what?"

Ben smiled, reaching for her hand and guiding her to the couch. He sat down, then patted the spot next to him. She plopped down without hesitation, glancing at her husband.

"Sweetheart, I knew from the start that something about the name _Jane _meant something to you. You were so insistent on it when we were thinking of a middle name for Avery," he said. "And today, when you told me your friend's name was Patrick _Jane,_ it clicked. Instantly. I just didn't want to call you on it."

Teresa turned a deep crimson color. "I can-"

"Explain?" Ben finished for her. He kept the smile on his face, leaning in to kiss her softly on the lips. "No need. I understand."

"You do?"

"Of course!" He reached for her hand again. "It's normal not to forget your first love. When they're ripped away from you, it's also normal to want something to remember them by." He shrugged. "Your child's middle name is a perfect example, don't you think?"

"He wasn't my first love."

"Same difference."

Teresa sighed. "Why are you so damn understanding?" she whined. "Why aren't you in a fit of jealous rage? Why are you so good to me?"

Ben laughed, shrugging his shoulders again. "You aren't cheating on me, are you?"

"No! Of course not!"

"Then I'm fine." He kissed her again, before finally standing up to tend to their crying daughter.

* * *

He sped away from their house, heart pounding.

He couldn't seem to make up his mind. Was he sad, or was he flattered?

For any other normal person, they'd be gushing with joy if someone named their kid after them, even if it was only a middle name.

But for some reason, he couldn't seem to make himself feel _happy _about it.

Was he overreacting?

He was pulled out of his train of thought when his cell phone rang, making him jump. He snatched it from the passenger seat and brought it to his ear. "Hello?"

"Jane!" came Grace's cheerful voice.

"Hi, Grace."

"Do you have any plans for tomorrow night?" she asked. "Because Wayne and I were wondering if you'd like to come for dinner tomorrow! We were also going to invite Kimball and Elise, Ben and Teresa and Avery-"

"Actually, Grace," he cut her off. "I'm actually leaving town tomorrow."

There was a pause. "What?" she exclaimed. "I thought you were staying until the end of the week!"

"I thought so, too, but there's a change of plans."

"Oh, please, Jane," she said, sounding utterly disappointed. "Please stay 'til the end of the week. _Please."_

"Grace, I don't-"

"We've all missed you _so _much!" she went on. "I'd be so sad if you left so early!"

"Grace-"

"Please, Jane."

The sincerity and sadness in her voice made the guilt arise in him. He'd missed everyone, too, and he hated himself for leaving. He hated that he missed out on so much. He missed out on Cho's wedding, Grace and Wayne's wedding, and the announcement of the Rigsbys' pregnancy. But leaving had seemed like the best thing to do.

Against his better judgment, he said, "Alright."

She shrieked on the other end of the line, making him wince. "Oh, thank you! Thank you, Jane!" she said excitedly.

He couldn't help but smile. "You're welcome, Grace."

* * *

He hadn't done this in a while.

It seemed so new to him.

It seemed so _wrong._

But it felt so right.

He sat in front of the cemetery for a good half hour, staring in the direction of which he knew their graves were.

He tried to focus on breathing. In and out… in and out…

He hadn't been here since that one time with Danny.

That was years ago.

He tried to remember how he'd convinced himself to come here. He tried to talk himself into getting out of the car, to work up his nerve to walk over to their graves.

It shouldn't be this hard.

Why _was _it this hard?

_Because you feel guilty, _a little voice in the back of his mind said. _You feel ashamed. You're an idiot for falling in love with another woman. Betraying your wife like that is something to be ashamed of._

He let out a long, deep sigh. Reaching for the door handle, he got out of the car before giving himself a chance to change his mind.

It wasn't a far walk at all, which was good. It didn't give him a lot of opportunities to turn back like a coward. He kept his head held high, eyes up, refusing to look at the ground.

_You can do this._

He approached slowly, cautiously, as if he were scared of the tombstones. He looked between them, Angela and Charlotte, and bit his lip.

Clearing his throat, he finally spoke. "Hello."

No response, of course.

"I was… just in the neighborhood."

_How stupid can you _possibly _be, Patrick? _he thought to himself.

"I doubt you can hear me." He paused. "No. I don't doubt. I _know _you can't hear me." Jane shrugged. "I thought I'd say something anyway."

Okay, so this wasn't as difficult as he thought it'd be.

"First of all," he said quietly. "I want to tell you both how much I love you." He swallowed. "I do. I love you so much. More than anyone could ever imagine." He shifted his weight awkwardly. "I know that I wasn't the best husband sometimes." Patrick glanced at Charlotte's grave. "Or the best father. And you have no idea how much I regret that."

The tears came out of nowhere. One minute, he was just fine. Finally, he'd convinced himself he really was strong enough to do this. The next minute, tears sprung to his eyes and immediately spilled onto his cheeks.

"I'm sorry I fell for her," he whispered, bowing his head as he started to cry even harder. "I'm so, so sorry."

He wasn't strong enough. That much was clear.

So he turned on his heel and made a beeline for the car. Like the coward he knew he was.

**Like I say. Pointless. Review anyway?**


	7. Chapter 7

**This chapter involves the first flashback in a long time! And… it has to do with Grace and Wayne's unborn child. :)**

**Disclaimer: Not mine.**

"What about Wyatt?" Teresa suggested. "That's a good name for a little boy, don't you think?"

Elise, Kimball, and Wayne all nodded in agreement.

"It's a good name," Grace replied. "But it's pretty popular."

The Rigsbys, Chos, Corbins, and Jane were all crowded around the table after dinner, discussing possible names for Wayne and Grace's child. Since it was too soon to tell if it was a girl or a boy, it was a pretty long conversation.

"I like the name Hanna," Wayne said, casting a glance over at his wife. "But Grace doesn't."

"It's just… too popular!"

"Sweetie, every name is too popular for you."

"That isn't true!" she argued. "I'm not saying common names aren't _good _names. In fact, there are some well-known baby names that I'm quite fond of."

"Like what?" Ben asked her.

"I like the name Maya," Grace said. "And Gabrielle, Gabby for short. I like Taylor, for a boy." She shrugged. "But I also like names that not a lot of people have heard before."

"I get what you're saying, Grace," Jane chimed in.

She smiled gratefully at him. "You do?"

He nodded. "My wife was that way," he told her. "She wanted a name that everyone else would say, 'What a unique name.' She even had a name picked out before our daughter was born. Then, when she had the baby in her arms in the hospital, she looked up at me and said, 'She's a Charlotte.'" He smiled. "It was the name I wanted."

The whole room was quiet. It was the most they'd heard him speak of his family at once.

After he realized he'd said too much, he cleared his throat. "You know, Grace. In Vermont, I knew a man whose wife had just had a baby boy. They named him Brodie." He shrugged. "I liked it. Unique, but not so uncommon that people would think it was weird."

Grace and Wayne looked at each other.

"I like it," Wayne said.

"Me too." Grace looked over at Jane and smiled. "Thanks, Jane."

He smiled back, nodding.

While the rest of the group dove back into conversation about baby names, Jane silently sat back in his chair, half-listening, as his mind wandered into another flashback.

* * *

"_What about Ella?" he suggested, taking a sip of his tea._

_Angela shrugged. "It's pretty," she admitted._

"_But you don't like it."_

"_I do," she said. "What about Kyla?"_

_Today had been the day that they'd gone to their appointment and ended the suspense. They were having a little girl, and were now back to arguing about names._

"_I don't know," he replied. "Mia?"_

"_It's cute."_

_He nodded. "Yes. It is."_

"_What was the name you mentioned earlier? The one you really like?"_

"_Charlotte?"_

"_It's popular," Angela said. "But I like it, too." She paused. "A woman that I work with has a brand new niece named Shiloh. I thought that was kind of cute. Different, but not too different."_

"_Shiloh. Like the beagle?"_

"_No. Just Shiloh."_

_He pondered that for a moment._

"_You don't like it," Angela assumed._

"_I do, actually," he confessed. "I can picture us with a little girl named Shiloh, can't you?"_

"_Yes, I can." She beamed._

"_I'd say that Shiloh is definitely on the table." Patrick smiled, leaning forward to kiss her lightly on the lips._

* * *

"How about Aubrey?" Elise proposed.

"I like it a lot," Grace admitted. "And I have actually thought about it." She glanced over at the little Corbin girl playing with her toys on the living room floor. "But it's really close to Avery."

"Not necessarily," Teresa insisted.

"Aubrey and Avery," Ben tested. "They're similar, but not _too_ similar. Besides, who cares? They aren't sisters."

"True," Grace said. "The only thing is… Wayne doesn't like it."

Everyone looked at Wayne.

He held his hands up in defense. "I'm sorry. I just… don't really like it."

"Yeah, me either," Kimball said.

"Okay. So far, what do you guys have on the table?" Elise asked.

"For boys: Lane, Beau, and…" Grace glanced at Jane. "Brodie."

"I like Beau," Teresa offered.

"What about girls?" Ben asked.

Wayne spoke up. "Lilah and Skylar."

Grace looked at Jane again. "Hey, Jane. What was the name your wife wanted?"

"Until the day Charlotte was born, she had her heart set on Shiloh."

"You didn't like it?"

"I did," he replied. "I actually grew very fond of it. She was the one who decided the name should be Charlotte instead."

Wayne looked over at Ben and Teresa. "What were the alternatives you guys had? Instead of Avery?"

"If it were a boy, we would have named him Liam," Ben replied. "Had we not picked Avery, it would have been Camille."

Grace huffed, leaning back in her chair. "This is so hard."

Teresa smiled. "Well, honey, you're less than two months along. You have time."

Grace nodded. "Yeah. But still."

There was a long pause, and Ben finally spoke up. "We're the godparents, right?"

"What?" Grace and Wayne both said together.

"Teresa and I. We'd be legally responsible for your kid if anything were to ever happen. Right?"

Wayne's lips twitched.

"Actually," Grace said. "We haven't decided yet."

"We're one of the choices, right?" Ben asked.

"Of course," Wayne told him.

"Well, what about us?" Kimball wondered. Elise nodded.

"Yes," Grace replied.

"I should be going," Jane said loudly, as an escape from the awkward tension in the room.

"We haven't even gotten to dessert yet," Grace said.

"I know, but it's late." He smiled, standing up from the table. "Thank you for dinner Grace. Wayne." He nodded at them. "It was nice seeing you all."

"Jane. When are you leaving?" Kimball asked.

"Friday."

"Will we see you before then?" Grace asked.

He nodded. "Probably."

"Good." She smiled. "Goodnight, Jane."

"Goodnight," came a chorus of voices.

"'Night, guys." He turned and headed toward the front door, twisting the knob and letting himself out into the fresh air.

He was about halfway down the walk toward his car when he heard Grace's front door open and close behind him, and the sound of footsteps hurrying his way. "Jane, wait!"

He turned around.

Teresa stopped when she was right in front of him, smiling. "Hey."

He laughed out loud. "Hi there."

They stood there for a long time, drowning in the silence between the two of them, listening to the far-off crickets in the neighborhood. Lisbon looked down at her feet. Jane kept his eyes on her face.

"Can I help you?" he asked slowly.

She looked up again. "I just…" She bit her bottom lip. "Just… you better not leave without saying goodbye."

Even without saying it, he knew that she left off a certain word on purpose. She left off _again. You better not leave without saying goodbye again._

Jane smiled. "I won't," he whispered. "I promise."

Teresa hesitated before saying, "Personally, I think you should stick around."

"Oh, I would, but it really is getting late and-"

"No," she interrupted him. "I mean stick around town."

He crossed his arms across his chest. "Why?"

She glowered. "You want me to list off the reasons?" she asked sarcastically.

He beamed. "Yes, please."

She rolled her eyes, but smiled. "The team just… hasn't been the same without you," she admitted.

"You haven't replaced me?"

"You were a _consultant._"

"A damn good one, at that."

Teresa laughed, continuing with her list. "Ben likes you. He likes your sense of humor, and he is fascinated by your skills. And… I'd like you to get to know Avery." She paused. "And I know that Grace and Wayne would absolutely _love _to have you around when the baby arrives."

"I-"

"You missed their wedding, Jane. Cho's, too. And _mine. _You missed the birth of my little girl." She shrugged. "I think it'd be nice if you were here when the baby comes."

He stared at her. "You don't think I feel guilty about everything I missed?"

"No, no! I'm sure you do!" she defended. "I'm… just saying. We could easily get you your job back."

He didn't say anything.

Teresa took a step backward. "Just say you'll think about it. Okay?"

He sighed. "Okay. I'll think about it."

Her face lit up. "Thank you." She bid him goodnight and turned to rush into the Rigsbys' house.

* * *

"He's thinking about it!" Teresa exclaimed when she burst into the room.

Grace shrieked, jumping up. "Really?" she asked excitedly.

"Yes!" Teresa grinned.

"What did you say to him?" Cho asked.

"I told him that we could get his job back, and that it would be really nice for him to be around when the baby comes."

They all stared at her.

She shrugged. "It came to me. I don't know! I was just trying to get him to stay!"

"So… he's thinking about it?" Wayne grinned.

"Yes!"

"That's so great!" Ben chimed in.

She smiled gratefully at her husband. "Really?"

"Of course!" He smiled back. "I'd like to get to know him."

"Let's hope he stays," Grace mused.

"Yeah," Teresa said, secretly crossing her fingers behind her back. "Definitely.

**Will he stay? Or will he go? ;) Thanks for reading! Please, review! :D**


	8. Chapter 8

**Thanks for your reviews :]**

**Disclaimer: Not mine.**

"_Deep breaths. In and out, in and out…" he coached as he held his wife's hand. He had reached for it and now she was about to crush every bone in his hands._

_She let out a whimper. "I can't… do this!" she wailed, throwing her head back._

"_Yes you can, sweetheart," he comforted her. "You're almost done! You're doing great!"_

_She shook her head, squeezing her eyes shut. "She's not coming!"_

"_Yes she is, sweetie," he reassured her. "Shiloh's coming. She is. She's almost here. She's so close!"_

"_One more push, Angela," the doctor said behind his mask. "You're doing great. One more push."_

_Patrick squeezed her hand tighter than he thought possible, and watched his wife clench her teeth, squeeze her eyes shut, and push once more._

_Patrick felt her grip around his hand loosen as he began to hear the cries of an infant. Angela had her head laid back, eyes closed, breathing hard with tears streaming down her cheeks. Patrick smiled and kissed her cheek, letting his lips linger there longer than he usually would._

_The doctor handed over the baby, setting their little girl into Angela's arms. She lifted her head, finally smiling down at their daughter's face. Patrick put his arm around his wife, mesmerized by his child._

_The doctor congratulated them before giving them a few minutes of privacy._

_Patrick and Angela both stared at the baby, smiles on each of their faces. Angela glanced over at her husband, who leaned in and kissed her. When she looked back down at their newborn daughter, she said quietly, "She's a Charlotte."_

"_You think?"_

_Angie nodded her head. "Yeah. I do."_

_He glanced back at his baby, nodding. "You know, I think so, too."_

His eyes opened, and he sighed. He was not in the hospital with his wife and little girl. He wasn't back when the times were good, when he was happy. He was in his shabby hotel room in Sacramento, alone, eyes heavy from waking in the middle of his good dream.

He thought about what Teresa said. How she had tried to convince him to stay. How she talked about how easy it would be to get his job back. How she said it would be nice for him to be around for Wayne and Grace when their baby came. The truth was, he didn't want to go back to Vermont. He didn't like his life there. He liked it much better when he lived in Sacramento. In Vermont, when he went to the local police department in search for a job, they had scoffed at him when he told them he wasn't an officer. "I'm a consultant," he had said. It really was no surprise that they sent him away. So, he was back to conning innocent people out of their money. He hated doing it, but he really had no choice. He honestly couldn't do much else. There weren't a lot of jobs available where his skills would become useful. A salesperson, perhaps. He could easily convince anyone to buy whatever he was selling, but he didn't want to do that. Manipulating innocent people for no particular reason wasn't his cup of tea… most of the time, anyway. Sure, he would always manipulate suspects that he wanted confessions out of. Sometimes, he'd trick the team, just because it was fun. That was different. He didn't like conning innocent, gullible people out of their money when they came to him in search of help.

Even after living there for years, he still didn't know many people in Vermont. His clients, of course. A few people in his apartment building. However, he wasn't close with anyone. Not like when he was close with the CBI team, if he could call that _close. _In a way, he probably could. They helped him. He helped them. They knew a lot about him. He knew everything about them. It was a win-win situation. At least, that's how he looked at it.

All in all, he _missed _California. He missed living in the state where he met his wife, where they married. Where his daughter was born and grew up, for a few years, that is. He missed his job. He loved using his skills in detective work, despite anyone else's opinion.

He missed his team. He missed them _so _much. It was nice to be back, to be with them. He had missed Rigsby's goofy, always-up-for-a-laugh personality. He'd missed Cho's deadpanned expressions that cracked Jane up for no particular reason. He'd missed how easy it was to make Grace smile at the smallest things. He missed the way Lisbon's eyes would light up with fire when he pulled one of his stunts that infuriated her. He missed everything.

Maybe living in Sacramento again could be a good thing. Being reunited with his team made him feel a thousand times _happier. _What would be the harm in moving back?The worst thing about it was he knew damn well what the harm would be. Teresa.

He'd been in love with her for five years. Only a few days out of those five years that he had actually seen her. If he'd been in love with her when he hadn't even been in contact with her, how the hell was he supposed to get over her now?

He tried to remind himself how much of an idiot he was for falling for her, especially now. She's _married, _with a child. A beautiful little girl who was going to be somebody someday. He just knew it. Jane knew he needed to move on. For Lisbon's sake, for Ben's sake, for Avery's. And for his own.

He could do this. Of course he could.

He looked over at the digital clock on the bedside table. It read 8:30 AM. Wow. He'd slept in.

He knew Lisbon - Corbin - would be awake. She'd probably be at work…

He picked up his cell phone and dialed her number that he still knew by heart. He raised the phone to his ear and listened to the rings. _One… two… three…_

"Hello?" she answered.

"Hi. It's Jane."

There was a paused. Then, "Jane! Hi!"

"Hi. Listen. I need a favor."

"What kind of favor?"

He swallowed. "I need you to give me my job back."

**So he stays. I read your guys' reviews. Most of you say that he should go, so he doesn't have to suffer. Normally, I would agree with you. But just stick with me. It'll all come together! I know you disagree with me right now, and I would love to hear your thoughts. Review?**


	9. Chapter 9

**It's been a while since I've updated. Sorry, but this particular fic has become kind of difficult to write... I know how I want this fic to end. I've got THAT all planned out. It's just the middle that I've had difficulty with! Ugh! Well, anyway. I hope I didn't lose you all. Warning: This chapter is kind of lame.**

**Disclaimer: Not mine.**

_Riiiiiiiing..._

His eyes fluttered open, and he groaned.

_Riiiiiiiing..._

He glanced over at the digital clock that sat on his extended-stay motel room's bedside table, which read 5:30 AM. Who could possibly be calling him?

_Riiiiiiiing..._

He reached his tired, weak arm over to the table and snatched up his phone, bringing it to his face and attempting to read the caller ID. He squinted at the glaring light coming from the screen in the dark room. It hurt his eyes.

Then, he saw the name. Lisbon.

Yawning, he opened his phone. "Hello?" he answered groggily.

"Jane. Sorry to wake you. But we have case."

He blinked his eyes a few times, attempting to wake himself up. "Huh?" he asked brilliantly.

"A case," Lisbon spoke slowly. "You know, like when someone is killed, and we have to find the killer? That's what a case is."

"I know that," he snapped. "But... It's just... I... you got me my job back?"

"Yes, Jane! You asked me to yesterday, remember?"

"I remember."

He heard her sigh. "City Hall. Be here soon." There was click, and the line went dead.

He moaned, bringing his hand to his face and rubbing his eyes. An early-morning case on his first day. Lovely.

Ten minutes later, he was pulling his baby blue Citroen out of the parking lot and driving down the dark, sleepy road.

It felt good to know he was a part of the CBI again. He'd always been proud to tell people that he was a consultant for the California Bureau of Investigation. It made him feel important, like he had actually had accomplished something in his life. He liked working as a detective. He liked helping people. He also liked - _loved _- annoying people.

He arrived at City Hall after everyone else. Teresa's car was there, along with Cho's and the Rigsbys'. Jane parked his Citroen next to Teresa's and got out, stretching his arms and yawning once more before meeting his team inside.

As he entered City Hall, he was greeted by a familiar, friendly voice. "Jane!"

He grinned. "Hi, Grace."

"You decided to stay?"

He nodded. "I did."

"That's so great!" She pointed to the victim, whom he hadn't even noticed when he walked in until now. "You can help us. We're stumped."

"Stumped... How?"

Lisbon spoke up this time. "Victim's name is Christopher Mason. Thirty-two."

"And this stumps you, how?" Jane asked, sincerely puzzled.

"We don't know why he was here. No evidence tells us he works here, and City Hall closed at ten. Mason was killed only two to three hours ago," Rigsby explained.

Jane inspected the dead body, raising his brows. "How'd he die? I don't see any blood."

"Poison," Cho replied.

After a few seconds of silence, Lisbon asked, "Any theories, Jane?"

"Uh, yeah. Either someone with access to City Hall poisoned Mason and brought him here to, you know, dispose of the body. Get rid of the evidence."

"Or...?" Lisbon prompted.

"Or... The killer lured Mason, and poisoned him without Christopher Mason expecting it."

"So, basically, someone who works in City Hall is the killer," Grace summarized.

"Right."

"What time does everyone start to come in for work?" Rigsby asked.

"Oh, I'd assume any time now," Jane told him. "You can start your boring question and answer games very soon."

Lisbon rolled her eyes.

"It's not a game, Jane," Grace said. "It's catching a criminal. A murderer."

"_Catching The Killer._ It has a nice ring to it. Sounds a bit like a game to me."

Cho looked at Lisbon. "Tell me again why you gave him his job back."

"Because sometimes I'm just way too good of a person," she grumbled, pursing her lips and stalking in the opposite direction.

"Ah, Lis- Corbin," Jane corrected himself, hurrying after her. His voice rang through the huge, empty halls. "I'm sorry. You're right. Catching criminals isn't a game. More like a sport..."

As Jane and Lisbon's banter began to fade in the distance, Rigsby, Cho, and Grace all exchanged glances.

Rigsby spoke up. "Smart-aleck remarks, a pain-in-the-ass consultant..."

"Those two fighting," Grace chimed in, gesturing with her hand in Jane and Lisbon's direction.

"Seems like everything's almost back to normal," Cho added before calling the coroners.

**Yeah, so I know that was SO lame. But you have no idea how much difficulty I am having writing this! I don't know what my problem is, but I am having SO much trouble with writer's block, with this fic especially! Even though this chapter sucked, I'd love to hear what you think. IDEAS would be so incredibly helpful, I'd love you forever! :]**


	10. Chapter 10

**Funny how this turns from a oneshot into a very long multi-chapter. And I'm not even close to finished yet. ;)**

**Disclaimer: Not mine.**

Several months passed.

He was pleased to see that things were beginning to look up a bit.

He was coming to terms with the fact that he would _never _have Teresa Lisbon. He'd never have the happily married woman with the beautiful little girl that was nearly identical to her. He'd never be able to say the words aloud - _I love you. _To her, anyway. He'd never be able to kiss her. He'd never be able to do any of those things.

However, it was his fault. He was the one who left. The one who made everything so complicated. If he had stayed, sure. Maybe he'd have her right now. Maybe Avery would be _his _child. Who knew?

_What ifs _were so terrible.

But he came to accept it. He accepted the fact that he'd never have her.

He was slowly, carefully easing his way out of this tangled, dysfunctional mess that his heart told him was love.

Unrequited love.

He and Teresa were back to their old, familiar banter that he'd grown so fond of. Of course, it annoyed the hell out of everyone else. However, he found it oddly comforting. Especially now.

He had actually managed to get her suspended. Only once, though it was enough to earn him a good smack in the face. He deserved it, nonetheless, but even as the side of his face was stinging, he couldn't help but think about how much he had missed old times. In a very strange way, he had missed the constant punches in the nose by angry suspects, or slaps in the face by grieving widows. Not that he was proud of getting Teresa suspended. But he had missed everything.

He was back now, and he didn't have to worry about that.

Grace was getting big. She was about five or six months along by now, getting moodier and moodier every single day. Lisbon made her spend all of her time in the office, which only irritated Grace even more. Lisbon's argument was that she had to go through the exact same thing when she was pregnant with Avery. But every time Grace would watch the team leave for a case and come back, in that amount of time, Jane swore she'd get a fresh batch of pregnancy hormones. Every single time.

"Jane?" she asked one day. "When your wife was pregnant, was she this awful to people?"

Jane laughed. "Sweetheart, you aren't awful. You're _pregnant._"

"Is there a difference?"

He smiled. "Hormones are part of the process."

"I know that! But I snap at everyone! I'm surprised Wayne hasn't divorced me."

"He'd never do that."

"Would you just answer the question?"

"Why can't you ask Lisbon?"

She gestured with her hand toward the boss's office. "She's busy."

"Well, yes, my wife was moody. Very moody. You should have seen her face when I accidentally brought home Chinese food, when she had really asked for Mexican food."

"Uh oh. Not good, huh?"

"I swear she was trying to burn me with her eyes. She almost made me sleep on the couch."

Grace giggled. "Really?"

"Really. Don't worry, Grace. No one judges you for snapping."

She smiled. "Thanks, Jane."

He could see the look on her face that she was already tired of being pregnant. On some level, she loved it. She loved that she was carrying hers and Wayne's child inside of her. But she had hated the morning sickness, and the swelling, and not being able to work in the field and having to be stuck at the office.

Occasionally, he'd stay behind with her, keep her company. He knew she appreciated it. Wayne did the same thing sometimes. More than Jane did. It made Grace happy.

Jane, Lisbon - _Corbin, as she had corrected him for the umpteenth time. He didn't care. She'd always be Lisbon to him _- and Cho had all arrived at a crime scene. Neither Rigsbys were there.

"Where's Grace and Wayne?" Lisbon asked.

"Doctor's appointment," Cho informed.

"Oh, that's right!" Lisbon grinned. "They're finding out what they're having today!"

Cho nodded. "They were arguing about names yesterday."

"_Again?_" Jane piped in.

"Yeah. Wayne likes the name Taylor."

"For a girl or a boy?"

"Either. Grace doesn't like it."

"What does _she _like?"

"Annabel for a girl. Liam for a boy."

"Wayne doesn't like them?" Lisbon asked.

Cho shook his head. "He likes _Anna. _But not Annabel. Or Liam."

"Those two make everything so difficult," she said, shaking her head and turning her attention to the victim.

"They'll agree on one. Eventually," Jane mused.

"I just really want to know what they're having," Lisbon sighed.

Jane looked at her. "Lisbon-"

"My name is _Corbin. _How many times do I have to say it?"

"Can't I just call you Lisbon?"

"No! That's not my name!"

"What about Teresa?"

"No! _Corbin!"_

Jane huffed. "Lisbon it is," he said stubbornly. "Did you find out with Avery or was it a surprise?"

Lisbon rolled her eyes when he used her maiden name again. "We found out. Ben didn't want to, but I just couldn't wait."

"Why didn't Ben want to?"

She shrugged. "Who the hell knows? _He _likes surprises. I, on the other hand, hate them."

"I remember." Jane winked.

"Shut up." She smacked his arm. "Any insight?"

"Yes. You hate being surprised because-"

"_On the victim._"

"Oh. Not really, except that he was a rich man and was killed for his money. Is he married?"

Cho nodded. "Wife's name is Caitlin. I talked to her a little bit ago. She must be at least fifteen years younger. Attractive. They were married for about seven months. But she didn't seem upset at all."

"When I see Grace, I'll have her do some digging, see if it was a strained marriage. Jane, why don't you call Rigsby and see if..." Lisbon trailed off, looking around. "Jane?"

"Over here!"

Lisbon and Cho both whipped around to see Jane poking through a bush near the house. He beckoned them over, and they both rolled their eyes, but walked slowly over to Jane. He pointed inside the bush. "The killer dumped the murder weapon in there."

Cho cleared the branches away to get a better look.

"But why would they do that?" Lisbon asked Jane.

Jane shrugged. "An act of desperation, I'd guess. Stupidity."

"We'll have forensics take a look at that," she said absentmindedly as she gazed off into... nothing. Jane watched her fidget, and press her lips tightly together.

"You can't wait, can you?" he asked smugly.

She met his eyes. "What do you mean?"

He grinned. "You're _dying _to know what the Rigsbys are having, aren't you?"

"No," she said quickly. "I mean, I'm curious. But... I... okay, yeah. Yes! I want to know so bad!" she whined.

Jane chuckled. "We'll find out soon enough, my dear."

* * *

"Grace! You're here! Thank God!" Lisbon exclaimed when they got back to the office. Grace _was _back, along with Wayne, each with identically wide smiles.

"So?" Cho asked.

Grace and Wayne exchanged glances before saying in unison, "It's a girl."

Cho smiled.

Jane grinned.

Lisbon shrieked, throwing her arms around both of them. "Oh, you guys! I'm so happy for you!"

By now, Grace had tears streaming down her cheeks. She wiped at them. "Dammit!" she cursed, shaking her head. "Why? Why!"

Jane chuckled. "You're pregnant," he consoled for the millionth time.

"Well, yeah. But shouldn't I be happy?"

"Happy tears, honey." Wayne kissed the top of her head, and Jane saw him whisper to her. Reading his lips, they said _I love you._

And it brought Jane back to the day they found out they'd have a little girl...

* * *

"_This might be cold," the doctor warned Angela._

_As she spread the cool gel on his wife's belly, Angela winced, looking over at him. "It _is _cold," she mouthed. He smiled, and ran his fingers through her hair._

_Two minutes later, their unborn child was specks of black and white on the screen. "Mr. and Mrs. Jane. That's your baby."_

_Jane grinned, taking his wife's hand, who was getting more emotional each day. It really was no surprise that she had tears streaming down her face._

"_Are you two interested in finding out the sex of the baby?"_

_Patrick and Angela looked at each other._

"_Because I can tell you... right now."_

_They smiled at each other, and looked back at the doctor. "Yes," Angela said._

_The doctor grinned. "Congratulations. You're having a little girl."_

_Patrick watched as joy crossed his wife's beautiful face, and she turned her head and let him kiss her sweetly on the lips._

"_I love you," he whispered._

* * *

Jane gave Wayne a quick hug and congratulations before moving on to Grace. He put his arms around her, teased her once more about her wild hormones, and told her how happy he was for both of them.

**Ah, so it's a girl. :)**** This fic kind of took a turn, but I'm just trying to mend Jane's broken heart. Review, please?**


	11. Chapter 11

**As you know, Grace and Wayne are having a baby girl. Congratulations to them ****J**** The thing is... I'm having a bit of difficulty choosing a name, and I need your help. So once you're finished reading this chapter, I would REALLY appreciate it if you'd visit my profile, and vote for a couple names at the top of the page. I have a poll going. Thanks! :D**

**Disclaimer: Not mine.**

"I hate stakeouts."

Teresa sighed, opening her eyes and glaring in Jane's direction. "I heard you the first seventeen times."

"You're exaggerating. I did not say it seventeen times."

"Oh, silly me. Sixteen."

"Nah, more like four."

She rolled her eyes and rested her head on the back of her seat.

"Lisbon?"

She bit back a groan, fighting the urge to correct him on her name. "What, Jane?"

"Do you want to play a game?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because."

"Because you know I'll win?"

"Conceited much?"

He chuckled. "I'm not conceited. Just..."

"Arrogant?" she finished for him.

"Fine. We won't play a game. But I'm bored," he whined. "Let's at least... _talk._"

"About what?"

"Anything. Anything you want."

Oh, that offer sounded so tempting. _Anything. Anything you want._

The truth was, there was a question that had been eating away at her for months. A question that she would be extremely ashamed to ask, and frankly, she was somewhat afraid of the answer. It's an easy guess what this question might be.

They were alone. Why not ask?

"Okay," she said softly. "I have something."

"Go for it."

She didn't meet his eyes. She watched the empty, dark street, wondering how to approach this. Should she ease into it, or get right to the point?

"Why did you come back?" Right to the point.

He flinched. "W-what?"

"Why did you come back to Sacramento?"

Jane looked startled. And almost... hurt. "To visit you all."

She shook her head knowingly. "Jane... I know you."

"No, you really don't."

"You take off without telling anyone. You're gone for five years. Then, you just show up at banquet that you weren't even invited to without anybody knowing you're coming. I catch you staring at me while I'm with my family." She shrugged. "I'm just curious. No, I'm more than curious. I _need _to know. It has been killing me."

"Maybe I missed you. All of you."

"You're lying."

"Fine. You want to know why I came back?" he demanded.

"Yes, I do."

"I felt guilty."

She stared at him. "Guilty about _what,_ Jane? For yelling at me because I saved your life? Or walking away when I tell you how I really felt about you? Or leaving without saying goodbye? Which part did you feel guilty about?"

"Everything. All of it. Are you happy, Lisbon? I felt awful about all of it." He took a long pause, studying her face. He could see the hurt in her eyes. The confusion. "But there is one thing that I felt even worse about. Something I couldn't shake from my head for half a decade."

"Really."

"Yes. Really."

"And what was that, Jane? Please, do enlighten me. What _else _did you feel guilty about?"

"Not coming back as soon as I realized I had been falling in love with you."

It took everything she had to hold her jaw in its place, to not let it drop. Had Patrick Jane actually just confessed that he was in love with her? Or had been at one time?

"And when was that?" she whispered.

"Three days after I took off."

As what he said was beginning to process, she realized just how wrong this felt. Nothing was happening. She wasn't cheating on Ben or anything. But it just felt... _wrong. _Like she was somehow leading Jane on without even realizing it.

"Do you... do you still?" she asked gently.

"Do I still, what?"

She sighed. "Have those feelings for me."

He pondered that for a moment before replying: "I don't know."

Lisbon, at loss for words, just nodded and looked out the window again.

Jane bit his lip, shaking his head. "Please don't just freeze me out."

"I'm not."

"Lisbon, you are."

She met his eyes again. "Stop calling me that."

"Calling you what?"

"Lisbon!"

"That's your name."

"My maiden name. I'm married now, remember?" She held up her left hand to reveal the diamond ring that was placed on her finger.

"Yeah, I remember. Thanks."

"No need to be bitter."

"No need to flaunt."

"Oh, so I'm _flaunting _now?"

"You know how I feel about you. You shouldn't be waving your wedding ring in my face!"

She narrowed her eyes. "You just said you didn't know how you felt."

He rolled his eyes. "Does it really matter? It isn't like I can actually do anything about it."

Lisbon looked out the window again. "You're right."

"You can't tell me you don't feel something for me, too."

She whipped around, glaring him down. "_Excuse _me?"

"You heard me."

"Do I need to show you my ring again?"

"Answer the question."

"You didn't ask a question."

He groaned, frustrated. "Do you, or do you not have feelings for me still?"

"No," she snapped. "I _don't_ love you, Jane," she said, repeating the same, cruel words he'd spoken to her right before he left her five years ago. "I am _married. _I have a little girl who I love more than anyone in this world. I may have loved you at one time, but you're too late, Jane. I'm sorry that I sound like a bitch right now, but that's just reality."

He stared at her, stunned by her boldness. "I have the right to certain feelings," he argued.

"True. However, you don't have a right to act on those feelings."

"Did I say I was going to?" His voice was very near to a shout. "I get it, Lisbon. I get that I'm too late. I get that Ben makes you happy. I _understand _why you love that little girl so much. Why you'd never want to hurt her. I... I love her, too. And I'm not just saying that." His face turned bright red with anger, frustration, confusion, and hurt mixed together. "I _never_ wanted to stand in the way of you and your happiness. You asked me a question, I answered honestly. I came back because I was in love with you. Happy?"

He had shocked her into silence. She watched him, mouth hanging open, surprised by _his_ sudden forwardness. All she could do was nod stupidly, and turn her attention back to the current suspect's home. "I think it's safe to say that he isn't going to be leaving anytime soon," she said softly, referring to the suspect.

Jane just nodded, staring straight forward. "Told you," he muttered bitterly.

**I should have left this a oneshot. Haha. Review? And... please vote for a name for the Rigsby baby!**


	12. Chapter 12

**I am sincerely considering giving up on this fic. It's just going around in circles. I am so sorry! I'm trying to get to a certain point, an idea I have in mind, but it's taking a while to get there. But... anyway. Thanks for the reviews. They mean a lot, even if you are bored of this story.**

**Disclaimer: Not mine.**

He knew he had to fix things.

It was just the way it worked.

Even though she had asked, he should have lied. He never should have told her about his feelings. He didn't have the right. He knew she loved Ben. He knew she'd never, ever hurt Avery. He shouldn't want to stand in the way of that.

He had to apologize. Or make it up to her. He didn't know, but he had to do something. He just couldn't take the silent treatments, and the awkward glances, and the not-making-eye-contact factor. He remembered all of this from before he left Sacramento, but that was different. That was when they were attracted to each other (mutually) and everything was just made up of sexual tension.

It was different now. She was just pissed off at him.

He could understand if she was acting like this because she was uncomfortable. That much he got. However, she honestly did seem sincerely angry. Had he tried to break her marriage up? No. Had he said anything about wanting to be with her? No. Had he kissed her, like he had been dying to? _No._

So why was she so angry? He didn't understand.

Regardless if he understood or not, he couldn't take it anymore. He hated it when she was angry with him, despite the stunts he pulled during their cases.

So, after a long weekend of thinking, he marched into her office early on a Monday morning before anyone else had arrived at the office, and got straight to the point. "I'm sorry."

She looked up from her paperwork, startled. "What?"

"That whole speech last week."

She shook her head. "I started it."

"I should have lied. I mean, I'm good at that."

Lisbon's lips twitched.

Jane smiled. "But seriously. I don't normally do that."

"Lie?"

"No. Pour my damn heart out."

"I get it, Jane."

"Let me finish, okay?"

She pressed her lips together.

"I know that he makes you happy," he went on. "I do. And I don't want to be the one that screws that up. So I'm going to back away. You're not going to hear anything like what I said ever again, and we can just forget the whole thing happened. And if you want me to leave Sacramento..."

"No," she interrupted him quickly. "I don't want that."

"So, am I forgiven?"

"Yes, you're forgiven, Jane."

"Then I guess I don't need to give you this?" He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out something that sent a little _pang _through Lisbon's chest. Her smile widened. An origami frog. Jane set it down next to her laptop, grinning and walking out of the room and retreating to his couch.

Lisbon watched the frog intently, knowing what was coming next. She waited, watching, and even though she knew it was coming, she was startled when the frog leapt through the air toward her. For whatever reason, she thought this whole thing was just... funny. Maybe it was just how screwed up this whole situation had been. Maybe it was the fact that Jane had remembered the frog from so long ago. Or maybe it was the fact that she had actually jumped in surprise when the frog hopped, just as Jane had rigged it. She really didn't know why she thought it was funny but she found herself laughing.

Still chuckling, she grabbed the newest frog and tucked it away in her drawer, next to the original frog that she still kept in there. She always looked at it when she was having a bad day, and was in need of a smile. The origami frog never failed her. Every time she saw it, a warm smile would spread across her face, remembering just how clever Patrick Jane really was.

**I know that was lame, and short, but like I say, I'm trying to get to a certain point and it's taking a while to get there. I've probably lost some readers. I really don't blame them. Even I'm getting bored with this. Non-Jisbon ideas would be lovely. Thanks ****:)**


	13. Chapter 13

**Thanks for the feedback. It helped :)**

**Disclaimer: Not mine.**

"Hi, honey." Ben Corbin kissed his wife on the cheek after she walked in the door. "You're home late. Again."

Teresa set her bag down on the couch. "I know. I'm sorry! We all got hung up on this case and a suspect pulled a gun on Wayne today-"

"Wow! Is he alright?"

She nodded as they both walked into the kitchen. "He's fine. The suspect didn't pull the trigger. Cho took him down before he had the chance." Teresa glanced around. "Where's Avery?"

"It's nine-thirty, Teresa. She's in bed."

"Is it really?" She glanced at the clock, appalled. Her face fell, and she turned to face her husband again. "I'm sorry, honey. I hope you didn't wait for me to eat dinner."

Ben flushed. "Well, I was going to. But after I put Avery to bed, it was late. And I was hungry, so I kind of ordered takeout," he said sheepishly.

"Good. We had pizza at the CBI anyway." She fell back into her chair, sighing heavily.

"Teresa?"

"Yes?"

"You've been coming home late a lot lately."

She stiffened, meeting his eyes. "And I told you that things are busy lately."

"I know, I know. But _every _night?"

"Yes, Ben. Things are busy every day, every night. People are being killed. It's my job to find who killed them." She shook her head. "You know, I had more work to do at the office, but I came home because I knew you wouldn't be okay with me staying late again."

"I get that things are busy," Ben said. "I get that people are dying. But you have a little girl in her bedroom right now, and every single night, she asks when her mommy is coming home. I never know what to tell her."

Teresa's jaw dropped, and she stood up. "You make me sound like a bad guy!"

"All I'm saying is that maybe you need to spend more time with her."

She flinched. "Excuse me?"

"I think you need to spend more time with her," he repeated.

She narrowed her eyes. "This isn't about Avery."

"Yes, it is."

"No. This is about _you _using her as an excuse to tell me I need to be home earlier. I spend _plenty _of time with our daughter. Of course, I wish I could spend more time, but there just aren't enough hours in the day. I was at the office doing my job. It's not like I'm out at a bar with friends, or partying or anything like that."

"This is not an excuse-"

"Yeah, it is. And I don't like the fact that you're using our daughter to tell me what you're feeling. Don't drag her into this. She's only three!"

He let a pause go by, leaning back and crossing his arms across his chest. "Is this about Jane?"

"_What?_" Teresa gasped.

Just as Ben opened his mouth to say something else, he peeked over her shoulder and smiled sympathetically. "Hi, sweetie. Aren't you supposed to be in bed?"

Teresa turned around to see her daughter cowering in the doorway. She was in her pink pajamas with her purple "blankie".

"Hi, Avery!" Teresa sang with a huge grin. She bent down to pick up her daughter, setting her on her hip. "I missed you today, sweetheart." She kissed Avery on the forehead. "What's the matter?"

"You and Daddy are fighting," she whispered.

"No, we aren't," Teresa assured her. When her daughter looked at her with doubt, she added, "It's okay, sweetie. I'm sorry we woke you up. I'll take you back to bed."

Ben smiled at his daughter, kissing her on the cheek. "I love you, Avery."

"Love you, too, Daddy."

Teresa carried Avery down the hall to her bedroom. The light was still off, but Avery's nightlight remained on. Teresa set her daughter down on her bed, pulling the comforter over her little body and kissing her on the forehead. "You look so tired, baby."

Avery just nodded.

"I love you."

"Love you, too, Mommy."

Teresa smiled at her daughter, kissed her again, and backed out of the room quietly, for her exhausted little girl had already fallen back asleep.

She eased the door shut, walking back down the hall to face her angry husband. When she walked into the room, she stopped in her tracks. Ben was making himself a bed on the living room couch.

She sighed. "You don't have to do that."

He nodded. "I know."

Teresa walked over to the couch, looking at her husband. He didn't make eye contact. "Ben."

Ben sighed, finally glancing at her. "What?"

"You can't tell me that you're actually jealous of him."

"Well, what do you expect of me, Teresa?" he demanded. "One day, we're happy as can be, totally in love, with each other and our little girl-"

"We still are!" she protested.

"-and the next day, this guy shows up, and you change. You're always lost in thought, smiles are rare, and you can hardly look at me. I thought it was just hormones, or something along those lines. Then, I find out that you have a romantic history with this guy, and he is clearly still in love with you. I put the pieces together, and I figure out that you named our child after him." Ben sighed heavily. "I don't want to seem like the jealous, possessive husband that annoys the living hell out of everyone, so I have to keep my feelings to myself, and pretend like I'm okay with this."

"Ben," Teresa growled through clenched teeth. "He is my friend, and you have nothing to worry about."

"If you can look me in the eyes and tell me that there is nothing going on between you and this guy, then I'll believe you."

"He has a name, by the way. It's not 'this guy'. And I thought he was _your_ friend, too."

Ben sighed again. "He _is_ my friend."

"There is _nothing _going on between me and Patrick Jane. Okay?" When Ben didn't respond, Teresa scooted closer to him. "I love _you, _Ben. How many years will it take for you to see that?"

"All that I'm saying is if you want to be with him instead, I'm not going to try and stop you. I want you to be happy, and he seems to be really great with Avery-"

"Oh my _God!_" she screamed. "Have you not been listening to _anything_ that I've been saying?" She stood up from the couch, chucked a pillow at his face, and stormed out of the room, stomping all the way to their bedroom, but not before checking on her daughter, who was still laying in bed, sleeping contently and looking so innocent.

**Sooo... I added the jealousy, at your guys' request. I hope this made the fic a little more interesting. Thanks for your guys' feedback, and I'd really like more. :)**


	14. Chapter 14

**This chapter is slow. Go figure. But the next chapter will be better, I promise.**

**Disclaimer: Not mine.**

His back hurt from the lumpy couch he'd chosen to sleep on.

He knew it was karma. He'd overreacted last night.

He didn't know what had set him off. Maybe it was the look in Avery's eyes when she asked him when Mommy was coming home. Maybe it was having to eat dinner alone. Maybe it was just the thought of her being in that office with _him. _Maybe it was the thought of her seeing him every single day. He knew he really didn't have anything to worry about. Teresa would never betray him.

Right?

He was out of line. He never should have accused her of all those things.

It's just... they had so much history. Ben Corbin would be lying if he said that he didn't know what it was like to see an ex-lover and feel all those feelings resurface. It hadn't happened to him _lately, _not since he married Teresa. He loved her, and he'd never hurt her. Ever.

He rolled over and groaned, glancing at the clock on the wall. Four-thirty in the morning. He sighed heavily, sitting up and wincing at the pain in his back. Why he let his wife talk him into buying such an uncomfortable couch, he had no idea.

He slowly stood up off the couch, shoving the blankets aside and walking down the hall to climb in bed with his wife, and hopefully try to make up with her.

X

"All I'm asking is for you to _consider _Taylor," Wayne requested to his wife.

"As long as you consider Annabel."

"Dammit," he muttered.

"What's wrong with Annabel?"

"What's wrong with Taylor?"

"Answer my question first."

"I dated a girl named Annabel."

"And?"

"She was awful. That's why I don't like the name."

Grace sighed. "Just consider it."

"Whatever."

"You two..." Cho trailed off, shaking his head.

Wayne glared at him. "Go on."

"You're driving me crazy."

"Oh, excuse us. We're just trying to pick a name for our daughter," Rigsby sneered. "We'll be finished as soon as we choose a name. So if you have any suggestions you'd like to offer up..."

"Kimball's a great name."

Rigsby sighed, turning to his work again.

"Or Jane," Patrick chimed in, grinning.

Grace rolled her eyes.

"I'm serious! Just picture this. Little Janie Rigsby." His smile widened. "Cute, right?"

"I'm not naming my daughter after a pain in my ass," Wayne mumbled.

"What was that?"

"Nothing."

"Any cases?" Lisbon asked as she poked her head into the bullpen.

Cho shook his head. "Not yet, boss."

"You're hair is all ruffled," Jane noted aloud.

Lisbon's hand shot up to her hair to smooth it down. "It is?"

A huge grin spread across Wayne's face as he leaned over the desk toward Jane. "It's called sex hair," he whispered.

Grace burst out laughing before she could stop herself, Jane chuckled and even Cho cracked a small smile.

Their boss blushed furiously and glared them all down. "Keep it up or you'll all be taking turns answering phones and reporting to stakeout duty," she grumbled as she turned and left the bullpen.

Grace smacked Wayne on the shoulder. "What's wrong with you?" she asked half-seriously, though still giggling.

Jane smiled at them, and jumped off the couch to rush after Lisbon.

He floated into her office with a smile, leaning against the doorframe. She was seated at her desk, glowering down at a piece of paper with a pen in her hand. She happened to glance up and notice him, and sighed. "What?"

"What, what?"

"What's with the grin?"

His smile widened, and he shrugged. "The hair."

She dropped her pen and threw her hands up to run her fingers through her curls. She huffed. "Rigsby. Damn him," she muttered.

"Nothing to be ashamed of."

"Get out."

"No, I like it here."

"Of my personal life!"

He scrunched his brows together. "What do you mean?"

"_Get out of my personal life._"

Jane chuckled. "I like it there, too."

Before he knew it, a pen was flying in his direction, and he ducked out of the way just in time. "Whoa."

"Jane. Leave."

"You know, having a fight with your spouse is nothing to be embarrassed about."

She winced. "W-what?"

"You. And Ben. Clearly you had a fight." He smirked. "Clearly you made up."

"Jane..." she warned.

"Sorry, sorry." He threw his hands up. "Am I wrong?"

"No. You're not wrong."

"What was the fight about?"

"Jane. I don't want to talk about it."

"Was it about me?"

She glared at him. "Go away."

"I'm sorry."

"About what?"

"Everything."

She shrugged.

"Do you want me to go?" Jane asked.

She shot him another glare.

He chuckled. "Okay. I'm going." He paused. "You may want to give the Rigsbys some baby name suggestions."

"Why?"

"Because Cho is about to kill them." He smiled, finally leaving her alone.

**You guys must hate me. I promise, things will actually start getting a little more interesting in the next chapter. It takes place a few months from now. If you're still reading this story, bless your heart. You mean the world to me. =)**


	15. Chapter 15

**Sorry for the long wait. This chapter is pretty long.**

**Disclaimer: Not mine.**

Two months, dozens of cases and hundreds of arguments later, the team was sitting in the bullpen. Everything was quiet. There were no cases, no paperwork, nothing. Jane and Lisbon weren't fighting. Rigsby wasn't his usual chatterbox self. Instead, Wayne and Grace tossed a ball back and forth, Lisbon lounged in her office, Jane napped on the couch, and Cho read his novel. Everything was peaceful.

But Grace broke the silence.

"Oh!" she yipped, clutching her gigantically-pregnant stomach and hunching over. "Whoa. Uh oh."

Wayne was immediately at her side. "What is it, Grace?"

"I... I think my water broke. And...and... contractions!"

"They're already here?" Jane demanded, having just woken up from his nap and was now on his feet and next to Wayne.

Grace squeezed her eyes shut and nodded. "Yeah. I think they..." she trailed off, clutching Wayne's arm and crying out. "Oh, God," she gasped.

Cho clapped his book shut and flew out of his chair, grabbing for his keys and immediately taking charge. "Rigsby, help her out to the parking lot. Jane, you get Lisbon and meet us out front." He looked back at the Rigsbys. "I'm going to go grab my car and meet you at the entrance." He threw Grace a sympathetic look and then hurried to the elevators.

"It's going to be okay, Grace," Wayne promised his wife, helping her out of her chair. He glanced at Jane. "Are you coming with us?"

Patrick nodded. "I'll get Lisbon," he told them, turning and stalking out of the bullpen.

Rigsby helped Grace to the elevators. "Everything will be fine," he said to her, though he was really talking to himself. "Everything's going to be great."

X

"No, really. I'm fine here," Lisbon chirped into her cell phone as she paced slowly in the maternity ward waiting room. Jane watched her as she fidgeted nervously, clearly worried about Grace. "No, don't bring her. It's almost her dinnertime anyway and she'll be needing a bath and a bedtime story soon after." She was obviously talking to Ben. "No, hon. Really... yeah, she's doing great... We just got kicked out of the room so the doctor could talk to them for a couple of minutes..." Lisbon threw a glance down the hall in the direction of Grace's room.

As Lisbon kept talking to her husband, Jane turned to Cho. "Won't Elise be worried?"

"I've already called her."

"Ah." Jane nodded, feeling a slight twinge of jealousy. He seemed to be the only person who didn't have someone at home waiting for him. Not that it was anyone else's fault but his own.

"Can I talk to her?" Lisbon said into the phone. There was a pause, and then a gigantic smile appeared on her face. "Hi, sweetheart! It's Mommy." Another pause, and she laughed. "Yes, Aunt Gracie _is_ having her baby. Did Daddy tell you that?" Pause. "Alright, well, I love you, AJ, and I'll be home as soon as I can... okay. Bye-bye!" She flipped her phone shut and sighed, plopping down into a plastic chair next to Jane and letting her head fall back.

"Why don't you go home?" he asked her.

"I can't go home. Grace is having her baby," she snapped, annoyed.

"I'm sure she and Wayne will understand," Jane said. "You have a daughter at home, Lisbon. You should be with her."

By now, she had grown used to the irritating fact that Jane would always and forever call her by her maiden name, and there was nothing she'd ever be able to do about it. "We've already been here for five hours. Might as well stay a little longer."

"You'd think she would have had the baby by now," he mused.

She glared at him. "You'd think, wouldn't you?" Sarcasm was evident in every word.

"Why are you so grumpy? If you want to go be with Avery, then go!"

"It's not just that. I'm worried about Grace. She's miserable."

"All pregnant women are miserable when they're in labor."

"Not all," Cho added without glancing up from his book.

Jane and Lisbon both slid their gazes over to him. "And you would know this, how?" Jane asked.

"I have two sisters."

"Do you really?"

"Yeah. They both have kids. They didn't think the labor part was all that bad. It was the anticipation that could have killed them."

"Why didn't you ever tell us you're an uncle?" Lisbon wondered.

Cho shrugged. "We don't talk about our personal lives much."

Lisbon looked back at Jane, raising her eyebrows. "I think I talk about Avery too much," she whispered, reaching over and picking up a magazine off the table.

"I think we all talk about Avery, almost as much as you do." Jane chuckled.

Lisbon smiled, flipping open the magazine.

"I'm the godfather, right?"

"No."

"Are you kidding me?"

"Jane, we have been over this about a hundred times," she huffed. "When Avery was born, Grace and Wayne became her legal godparents. I'm sorry, but there is nothing I can do about it now."

"What if something happens to _them_? Then would I get to be the godfather?"

"Don't get any ideas in your head."

"But would I?"

"If you want to fight all three of my brothers in court, then sure."

"And me," Cho murmured.

Lisbon rolled her eyes, turning the page. "My brothers all really, _really _wanted to be her godfathers."

"They can get in line."

"I _was_ in line," Cho muttered.

Lisbon ignored him. "_They were _in line way before Avery was born," she said, referring to her brothers. "We just happened to choose Wayne and Grace over them."

"Do Ben and your brothers get along?"

"Yes. But we are closer with the Rigsbys. That's all there is to it." There was a hint of annoyance in her voice that was clearly supposed to be telling him to shut up and leave her alone, but he pretended not to notice.

"Do you think you and Ben will be Peyton's godparents?" he asked her.

"I don't know." She looked up from her magazine. "Is that what they decided to name her?"

"Finally," Cho chimed in. "If they fought about the name Annabel or Taylor one more time, I think I was going to pull my gun on them."

"I think Peyton is cute," Lisbon offered. "What about a middle name?"

"Teresa," Jane told her.

Her eyes lit up. "Really?"

"No." Jane grinned.

She smacked his shoulder. "You jackass."

"I don't know if they've decided on the middle name," he said. "You could probably talk them into it."

"I'm going to let them name her whatever they want."

"Hey, boss." Cho glanced up at her. "Have you ever thought about having another kid? Or will it just be Avery?"

Lisbon blushed, pressing her lips together and turning her attention back to her magazine. "We're, uh, trying."

Jane's eyes widened.

"Really?" Cho asked.

She nodded.

"That's great, boss."

"It really is," Jane chimed in. "I have some name suggestions."

"Jane, I'm not even pregnant."

"But just for future reference."

She gave him a look that said, _this ought to be good._

He twisted his body in his chair, so he was facing her. "If it's a girl, Jane." He held his hand up to stop her from protesting. "I know that Wayne and Grace turned it down, but can't you just see a little Janie running around?"

"No."

"And, if it's a boy, Patrick." He beamed. "Pat. Patty. Oh, come on! It's legendary!"

"Yeah. On a show with a stupid talking sponge."

"Patrick is a great name."

"I'm not saying otherwise," she lied, exhausting creeping into her voice. "I'm just saying that I am not naming my child after a pain in my ass."

Jane's lips twitched, amused. "Huh. Funny. That's exactly what Rigsby said."

She sighed.

"Guys?"

Lisbon, Cho, and Jane all looked up to see Wayne standing in front of them, fidgeting nervously.

"What's up, man?" Cho asked him.

"She's getting ready to push," he announced. "I didn't want to leave her, but she made me come out here and tell you all." He turned to Lisbon. "And... she wants you in the room."

Cho and Jane turned to Teresa in disbelief. She had paled, and her eyes were wide. "W-what?" she stammered.

"She told the doctor that you were her sister and that she wanted you in the room with her."

Jane noticed Lisbon's panicked expression and stifled a laugh.

"Okay..." she whispered, slowly standing from her chair.

"Boss, if it makes you uncomfortable-"

"No, don't be ridiculous," she interrupted him. "I want to be there for her." She and Wayne started down the hallway, but not before she threw a panicked glance over her shoulder. Jane chuckled and Cho just smirked.

"Keep us updated!" Jane called, and Rigsby gave him a thumbs up without even turning around. When they both disappeared into a room at the end of the hall, Jane turned to Cho. "So what about you, my friend? You and Elise talking about having kids?"

"That's none of your business."

"True," he agreed, nodding. "But is curiosity really such a bad thing?"

"With you? Yes."

Jane sighed, folding his hands in his lap. "You know you'll tell us eventually. Right?"

Cho snapped his book shut, whipping in his chair and staring Jane down with his usual stoic expression. "You want to be a smartass? You want to know if Elise and I want kids?" With every word, the desperation and anger became more and more obvious in his voice. "Yes. We do. In fact, we've come close. Elise has been pregnant. Three times. But guess what? Still no baby."

Jane's insides froze, and guilt began to seep into his heart. _Miscarriages._ Jane had never seen such a heartbroken expression on Kimball Cho's face before. But it disappeared just as quickly as it had come, and he turned back to his book.

"Cho," Jane said softly. He stared at the stone-faced man, watching as he began to get that distant look in his eyes. "I'm... so sorry."

Suddenly, Cho snapped out of it. "Not your fault."

"I know, but..." Jane trailed off, shrugging. "Still."

"Yeah, I know." Cho sighed. "Everything happens for a reason."

"You don't really believe that, do you?"

"No. But I want to believe it."

"It will happen for you guys," Jane said. "I know it will."

"I hope so." He paused, dropping the subject. "So what's the deal with you and the boss?"

"No deal. She's married, remember?"

"You're still in love with her, right?"

"No, actually. I've gotten over it." Okay, so it was a half-lie. He was in the process of _getting _over it.

"Good for you."

"Thanks."

"I haven't seen Avery in a while," Cho said. "How's she doing?"

Jane smiled. "She's good," he replied. "She's got a little cold, but she's fine."

"Do you still go over there a lot?"

Jane shrugged. "Not a lot. Ben invites me over every once in a while to watch ESPN, which I have no interest in. But not often."

"It's good that you guys are friends."

Jane nodded, smirking, knowing that Ben didn't particularly like him, but he decided not to mention that to Cho. "Yeah. Yeah, it is."

X

"You're doing great, sweetheart. You really are!" Wayne comforted his shrieking wife, who had her head thrown back against the pillow and was breathing hard, small rivers of sweat streaking down her face and neck. "She's almost here! Our little Peyton is almost here!"

"Wayne, I'm going to kill you. Ahhh!" she screamed as she squeezed her eyes shut and gave one more push.

Teresa, who was on Grace's other side, holding her other hand, was focusing desperately on trying _not _to pass out in the delivery room while her beloved colleague was giving birth. She'd been through this before. Her brother's wives have had kids. Hell, she'd had a kid herself. But for some reason, watching her sweet, innocent Grace scream at the top of her lungs made her sick, and it was so painful to watch her go through this kind of thing.

"Sweetie, you're doing absolutely _amazing_!" Teresa comforted her, rubbing soothing circles on Grace's palm with her thumb. "Your little girl is here. Just one more push. One more big push."

Grace collected a deep, sharp breath, squeezed her husband's and boss' hands, and pushed once more, letting out a bloodcurdling yell. Teresa winced, briefly wondering if Cho and Jane could hear her.

The sound of a baby's cries echoed throughout the delivery room, and the doctor slowly raised an infant in her arms. "Welcome to the world, Baby Girl Rigsby."

X

"The doctor kicked me out," Lisbon announced begrudgingly as she approached Cho and Jane.

"What did you do?" Jane accused.

She glared at him. "Nothing. She just wanted to talk to Wayne and Grace alone. That's all."

"How'd she do?" Cho asked.

"She did great." Lisbon smiled. "Just a few screams is all."

"That was our little Grace?" Jane asked, appalled. "I didn't know she had it in her."

"You could hear her?"

"Half the state of California could hear her," Cho chimed in.

Jane chuckled. "Give her a break. I bet she's never experienced anything as painful as that."

"What about the time she got shot?"

"She had a vest on. It didn't hurt her nearly as bad as it could have."

Lisbon rolled her eyes. "The important thing is, she's okay, and the baby's okay."

"Is Peyton going on the birth certificate?" Cho asked.

"I don't know," she answered honestly. "I guess we'll find out soon enough."

X

"She doesn't feel like a Peyton," Grace confessed sheepishly, looking down at their sleeping, newborn daughter. "I don't know what it is. I just can't look at her and feel like that's her true name."

"I felt that, too," Wayne admitted.

"Really?"

He nodded.

Grace sighed, looking back down at her baby. "Great. Back to square one."

"We'll find a name."

"I know." She glanced up at him. "You know, you could probably tell them that they can come in to see their niece."

Wayne smiled. "They'll be happy to hear us call her that."

She smiled back. "Yes. They will." She paused. "My parents are on their way."

He nodded. "My dad isn't coming."

"Wayne..."

"I don't want him a part of her life, Grace."

Grace just nodded, not in the mood to fight over this _again. _"Okay."

"I'll go get the rest of them." He leaned in and kissed her on the lips, and then gently gave his brand new daughter a small peck on her dangerously-delicate forehead, careful not to wake her up. "She's so small," he noted.

"Typically, that's how all babies are," Grace replied sarcastically, biting back a smile.

Wayne just rolled his eyes, smiling. "I'm going to go tell them that they can come in, but then I'm going to go down to the cafeteria. I'm starving. Do you want anything?"

"Nope, I'm good."

"You sure?"

"Positive."

With that, he turned and left the room. He walked down the long hallway to where the rest of the team waited. Noticing him, they all quickly dropped their books and magazines and rose from their chairs, watching him expectedly.

"You can all go in," he told them. "I'm going to run down to the cafeteria. Anyone want anything?"

They all mumbled a chorus of _no_'s and rushed past him, eager to see Grace and the baby. He watched them all go, smiling. They were going to love his little girl. He already did, and she was only about forty minutes old.

He walked to the elevators, pressing the down button and waiting impatiently. He hadn't eaten since this morning, and he was convinced his pants were a little loose. He needed food. Not that hospital food was his preference, but he needed something- anything- in his system.

The elevator doors opened to the basement, and he hurried out. He followed the signs to where the cafeteria was located, making his way over to get in line, when something out of the corner of his eye stopped him.

It was a young girl, slouched in a wheelchair at one of the tables. She had purple rings around her eyes and her skin was pale. Her dirty-blond hair was twisted into two messy braids that fell over her shoulders. She was all alone, the only one in the cafeteria besides himself.

He just looked at her, curious. She was completely oblivious to the fact that he was staring. She just poked around her applesauce with her plastic spoon. There were no parents with her. She couldn't have been much older than thirteen.

Wayne straightened up, walking over to her and taking a seat across from her. "Hi," he said gently.

Her bright blue eyes flicked up to his. She smiled warmly at him. "Hello."

"You looked... sort of lonely." He glanced around. "Are your parents here?"

She shook her head slowly, playing with her applesauce again. "Nah, I escaped from my room. They're probably searching frantically around the hospital. In sheer panic, I might add."

He smiled. "Why'd you escape?"

"I was tired of people hovering over me." She shrugged. "They'll find me eventually. Soon, probably." She paused, glancing at him from under her long, dark eyelashes. "I take it you're just visiting someone?"

"Why do you say that?"

"You look pretty healthy to me."

Wayne chuckled. "My wife just had a baby."

The girl's tired-looking face suddenly lit up. "Oh, wow! Congratulations! Boy or girl?"

"Girl," he announced proudly, beaming.

"How precious. What's her name?"

"We haven't chosen one yet."

"How big was she?"

"Six pounds, twelve ounces. Nineteen inches long."

The girl smiled again. "That's so great. Congratulations."

He returned the smile. "Thank you." He glanced at the wheelchair, and at the bags under her eyes, resisting the urge to ask her what was wrong. He held back, but she caught on.

"My kidneys are failing me," she said simply.

He swallowed. "I'm sorry."

She shrugged. "It's okay." She paused, slowly scooping up a spoonful of applesauce and letting it drop back into the little cup. "The doctors gave me a month."

Wayne's breath caught, and his heart throbbed with guilt. "I'm... so sorry."

She shrugged again. "It's alright. Everyone has to die sometimes."

"How old are you?"

"Twelve." She paused again. "Hey, will you do me a favor?"

Wayne nodded.

"Before you and your wife leave," she began. "Will you stop by in my room to say goodbye? I would really, really love to see your baby."

A smile lit up his face. "Absolutely."

"Hopefully you'll have a name for her by then." She grinned.

He glanced at the clock. "I'm really sorry, but I should really..."

"Get back to your wife and daughter," she finished for him. "I understand. I won't be alone for long anyway. They'll find me. I bet the cafeteria lady has already rat me out." She threw a glare at the woman behind the counter, who was throwing them nervous side-glances.

He laughed, standing up. "It was great meeting you..." he trailed off, realizing he hadn't even gotten her name.

"Lily," she said.

He stuck out his hand. "I'm Wayne."

Lily grasped his hand, shaking it. "Nice to meet you, Wayne. Be sure to bring that little girl of yours before you leave. Room 402."

"You got it." He smiled, turning and walking out of the cafeteria, lost in thought, thinking of the light-haired, blue-eyed, kidney-failing twelve-year-old who seemed more mature than he did sometimes. He hadn't even realized that he'd forgotten to buy food at the cafeteria.

X

"I think Peyton's a great name," Teresa offered, trying to be helpful.

"I just don't think she looks, or feels, like a Peyton," Grace replied.

"Did you guys have any alternatives?" Jane asked, half-listening to the conversation. He was too busy smiling down at the sleeping baby girl in his arms.

"Yeah, we did. We thought about Leah, and Aubrey." Grace sighed.

"I like Leah!" Teresa cooed. "Leah Rigsby. Very cute."

Cho, who stood next to Jane, glanced down at the baby. "She doesn't look like an Leah."

"Cho, I was trying to be helpful," Teresa snapped.

Grace huffed, letting her head fall back onto the pillow.

"Sweetie, relax." Teresa patted her hand. "You'll find a name. Do you even realize how long it took Ben and I to decide on the name Avery?"

"Uh, not long at all?"

"That isn't true."

Just then, Wayne came into the room, a small smile placed on his lips. He walked over to his wife, kneeling before the hospital bed, and took her hand. "What about Lily?" he whispered.

"Lily?" she repeated.

He nodded. "Lily Rigsby. Lillian Rigsby."

"Lily," Grace tested, grinning. "I like Lily. Just Lily."

Jane, who had passed the little girl into an uncomfortable-looking Kimball's arms, said, "I think it's great. Where did you come up with that?"

"I met a little girl in the cafeteria," he explained. "She was twelve years old, and her name was Lily."

His wife smiled, glancing at her daughter in Cho's arms. "I like Lily," she said again.

"Me too," Teresa chimed in.

Jane and Cho both nodded.

"Lily it is," Grace announced, smiling broadly at her wonderful husband.

**Ah, so they finally settled on a name. :)**** Review? Please?**


	16. Chapter 16

**Only about two more chapters to go. Thank you all for your reviews. They mean a lot to me.**

**Disclaimer: Not mine.**

"Lisbon," Jane whispered as he cut the engine to his little blue Citroen. He leaned back lazily in his own seat, glancing at the sleeping woman next to him. "Lisbon," he said, a little louder, this time gently tapping her on the shoulder to wake her.

Her eyes immediately fluttered open. "I wasn't sleeping," she claimed, sleep still thick in her rusty voice.

He chuckled softly. "We're here."

She glanced out the window, confused to find herself in front of her own house. She blinked a few times, looking back at Jane with a puzzled expression. "What time is it?" she asked him groggily.

"Ten-thirty. You'd better get inside."

"How long were we at that hospital?"

Jane shrugged. "Hours."

She sighed, stretching her arms. "Thanks for the ride. I could have driven myself."

"I would have driven you back to the CBI anyway. Besides, you look absolutely exhausted."

"So do you." She smiled. "When do the Rigsbys get to go home?"

"I think the doctor said... tomorrow afternoon sometime."

Lisbon pouted. "I wish we could be with them."

"Then why don't we go?"

"We are now short _two _agents on the team. The rest of us need to be at work. Bad guys don't catch themselves, you know."

"Obviously. Otherwise, our job would be a thousand times easier." He grinned, unlocking her door. "Goodnight, Lisbon."

"'Night, Jane," she replied with a yawn, climbing out of his car and fumbling with her keys as she approached the front door to her home.

He watched her go with a smile on his face, waiting until she was safely inside before driving away with a small sigh.

X

"She's beautiful," twelve-year-old Lily cooed softly, smiling up at the baby girl in Wayne's arms. She was lying in her hospital bed, tubes and machines surrounding her. "She's... perfect. Absolutely perfect."

Grace, who was still in a wheelchair, smiled back at the girl. "Thank you." She extended her hand, offering a friendly handshake. "I'm Grace, Wayne's wife."

The ill, weak girl lifted a shaky hand and grasped Grace's. "Nice to meet you. I'm Lily Morehouse." She let go of Grace and dropped her hand back to her side. "What's her name?" she asked, nodding at the baby.

"Lily Mae Rigsby," Wayne replied, grinning.

Twelve-year-old Lily's blue eyes lit up. "Really?"

"Really."

"Did you name her after me?"

"Pretty much," Wayne replied as he glanced around the room. "Where are your parents?"

"Dad's at work. My mom is signing some paperwork or something..." She trailed off, not bothering to get into the whole thing. Clearly, she was tired of everything involving the hospital and paperwork, etc. She smiled at the baby again. "I just can't get over how beautiful she is." Lily looked up at Grace. "I can definitely see that she is going to look like you."

Grace's eyes lit up. "Are you serious?"

"Absolutely. Her facial structure already looks just like yours. I bet she will have that stunning red hair of yours." Lily Morehouse glanced up at Wayne again. "Would it be alright if I held her for just a minute?"

He grinned. "Of course," he said, gently setting his sleeping daughter in the girl's arms.

The obvious delight was plain on Lily Morehouse's face. She looked down at the baby girl with a giant smile on her pale face, sighing. "It's just a shame that I won't be able to have one of these one day."

Wayne and Grace nervously exchanged a glance, both unsure of how to answer that. "You never know," Grace finally replied softly. "Miracles do happen. I mean, look at her. She is _our _miracle." She nodded at her daughter.

"They've given me a month, Mrs. Rigsby," Lily told her without looking up from baby Lily. "I'm only twelve, and even I know that there are a lot of scary things in this unforgiving world." She finally looked up to meet Grace's curious yet sympathetic eyes. "People die. It's just the way of the world." Lily sadly looked over at the beeping machines next to her. "It just goes to show that you can't take _anything_ for granted."

X

_**One Month Later**_

"What are _you _doing here?" Teresa demanded bluntly as she climbed out of her car.

Jane, who was also getting out of his blue Citroen, leaned against the door and smiled warmly at her. "Hello, Lisbon. Nice to see you, too."

"I'm serious. What are you doing here?"

"I'm here to babysit Lily while Grace and Wayne go out for their anniversary dinner." He scanned her bewildered expression, chuckling. "I can tell by your super-excited expression that you are here to do the same?"

"Grace asked me a week ago."

"Wayne asked _me _yesterday." His blue eyes twinkled with irritating amusement.

Lisbon, rolling her eyes, stalked toward the Rigsbys' front door with Jane close on her heels. "Oh, come on. You aren't seriously angry about this, are you?" he asked her.

"No, Jane. I just didn't know I'd be accompanied by the man who is the cause of all things bad at the CBI," she snapped, throwing open the front door and letting herself into the Rigsbys' house.

"You're still mad about today, aren't you?" Jane wondered aloud as he followed her inside to the living room.

"Yes, Jane. I am."

"Oh, lighten up."

She took a seat on the couch and glowered up at him. "You nearly made the widow have a nervous breakdown."

"I did no such thing."

"Hey," Grace greeted them as she swept into the room in a black cocktail dress. She had both hands raised to her right ear as she fiddled with her earring. Her hair was pulled up and she was wearing a light shade of red lipstick. She looked questioningly at Patrick. "Jane!" she said cheerfully. "What are you doing here?"

"Wayne asked me to watch Lily for the night." He slid his glance over to resentful Lisbon, who had folded her arms and was staring at him. "I can see you already have a babysitter."

"Kind of," Grace confessed, smiling sheepishly. "But I'm sure the boss wouldn't mind if you stuck around."

Jane chuckled. "That's alright. I'll just say hello to Wayne and Lily and be on my way." He smiled at her. "You look lovely, Grace. It's hard to believe that you just had a baby."

Grace beamed. "Thanks, Jane." Suddenly, she stopped, holding up her hand to keep them quiet. She listened intently, focusing on the silence that echoed through the house. Lisbon and Jane exchanged confused glances, and then Grace dropped her hand and smiled apologetically. "Sorry. I thought I heard the baby."

"Mom senses," Lisbon chuckled. "Is she sleeping?"

"Yes, finally."

"Is she crying all night?" Jane jumped in.

"Oh, yes," she gushed. "It's hard to believe such a small person, can have such a big voice. Her lungs are going to explode one of these days."

He smiled and nodded, remembering. "My baby would play tricks on us. She'd cry just long enough for one of us to get up and make our way down the hall, and as _soon _as we'd get to her door, she'd stop." He chuckled. "It was like a cycle. A game that she would always win." Lately, he had been feeling a bit more comfortable telling stories about his past.

"When Avery cries, it's like she howls," Lisbon chimed in. "She legitimately sounds like a howling wolf. It's insane."

The three of them exchanged stories of their experiences with their young daughters', (Grace and Teresa more than Patrick. That one story was enough for him right now) and Wayne finally came downstairs.

"Ready?" he asked his wife, looping an arm around her waist and kissing her temple swiftly. He nodded at Jane and Lisbon. "Hey, guys. Boss, I didn't know you were coming."

"Wayne, I told you last week that she was going to watch Lily," Grace muttered, slightly annoyed with her unobservant husband.

"No, you actually didn't."

The redhead whirled around, eyes widening. "Yes, I did, Wayne. You just don't listen."

The obvious frustration in her voice was enough to scare Wayne's pride away, and he just nodded. "Oh, that's right, honey. I'm sorry." He smiled, kissing her again.

Grace turned around again to face Lisbon, and Wayne flashed Jane a look as if to say _No, she never told me anything._

"Emergency numbers are on the fridge," Grace told Lisbon as she grabbed her keys from the coffee table. "Diapers are on the changing table in her nursery. Formula is on the counter. I jotted down the basics of her schedule. You know, when she eats and takes a bath and goes to sleep..."

"I've got it covered, Grace." Lisbon smiled reassuringly at her.

"I know. I'm sorry." She bit her lip. "I've just... never left her before. I didn't think it would be this hard. Maybe I should go say goodbye to her..."

"No, you shouldn't," Wayne countered impatiently. "She's fine."

"Separation is hard," Lisbon said. "But I have it completely under control."

"Oh, I know that. Just... call me if you need anything..."

"Grace, she has it covered." Jane laughed at her worries. "Please, just go. Enjoy your anniversary. You definitely deserve it." He kissed her cheek and then patted Wayne's shoulder. "Have fun tonight."

"Thanks, Jane," Grace smiled, grabbing Wayne's hand. "Let's go, before I change my mind."

They all exchanged their _goodbye_'s and _have fun's, _and the Rigsbys were gone, though Wayne had to practically usher his nervous wife out the door.

"I should probably go, too," Jane told Lisbon as he stood from the couch. "I've got groceries I need to pick up, laundry I have to do."

"Cut the BS, Jane. You can stay. I don't care."

"No, really. I have a grocery list."

"You haven't eaten in your own home since '06."

He chuckled, shaking his head at her. "Seriously. I'll get out of your hair. Tell Lily hello from Uncle Patrick."

"So you don't _want _to stay?"

"I didn't say that."

"Then stay."

"Do _you _want me to stay?"

Lisbon rolled her eyes. "You're pissing me off, Jane."

He smiled. "Okay. I'll stay. I would like to see her. Speaking of, where's _your _kid? Why didn't you bring her?"

"I didn't know her Uncle Patrick would be here. I thought she'd be bored out of her mind."

"Can I go pick her up?" he asked eagerly, eyes lighting up.

"If you want to?"

"Give me your keys."

Her eyes widened. "Hell no."

"Why not?" he demanded.

"You drive way too fast! I don't want you crashing my car. Or hurting my kid, for that matter."

"Avery's car seat is in your car."

She huffed. "Jane, no."

"You just said I could go get her!"

"She's going to be going to bed soon."

"It's four o'clock." Suddenly, Jane scrunched his eyebrows together, glancing out the window where Wayne and Grace had just left. "It's only four. They went to dinner at four o'clock?"

She shrugged as she flipped through the magazine in her hand. "They probably have something else planned."

"Huh. Interesting."

Lisbon sighed in annoyance. "You know what, I've changed my mind. I don't want you here."

He grinned stupidly. "Too late now, dear."

X

"You're a natural," he whispered to Lisbon in disbelief as she held the sleeping infant in her arms. He had just spent the past thirty minutes trying to get Lily Mae to stop crying and fall asleep, protesting against Lisbon's attempts to take her from him. He tried everything. He tried rocking her, burping her, feeding her. Nothing worked with this child.

But all that his raven-haired boss had to do was perform the "elevator" trick, as she had called it, and Lily had immediately stopped her crying and fallen right to sleep.

"I have a three-year-old. It takes practice," she whispered.

"Yeah, well, I had a baby once. I should be able to do this." He scoffed, pouting.

She just rolled her eyes.

"Tell me again when your child turns four," Jane requested.

"Next month."

"I know _that. _But what's the date?"

"The twentieth."

He nodded, smiling. "I'm going to get her something extravagant."

"Good luck with that. The most extravagant thing you can buy a four-year-old is a dollhouse."

"Not true. Little girls like ponies, don't they?"

"Jane, I swear to you..."

He simply waved her threat away with a flip of his hand. "Meh. You didn't seem so against it when I got _you _one."

"I was thirty-five years old, _and_ it was supposed to be a joke. You are not buying my rambunctious four-year-old a miniature pony."

"Say what you want. It's my money."

Lisbon sighed, shaking her head and looking down at her beautiful sort-of-but-not-really niece, whose tiny chest was rising and falling as she slept peacefully. She really was a lovely girl already.

"Hey, Jane," she whispered.

"Hey yourself."

"Do you want to know a secret?"

"Always." He straightened up, smiling.

She stood up from the couch and slowly moved across the room, gently setting the baby down in the bassinet and blowing her a very soft air-kiss. Jane had to smile at the gesture, so un-Lisbon-like. She turned and made her way across the room again, taking a seat on the couch next to Jane. "I'm pregnant."

Jane's jaw dropped and his eyes widened. "Seriously?"

She grinned and nodded excitedly, curls bouncing off her petite shoulders. "I just found out this morning. I haven't even told Ben yet, so you can't say anything to _anyone._"

"I promise." He smiled, pulling her in for a hug and swallowing hard at the sudden, strange wave of emotion that hit him for the first time in several months. "I'm so happy for you."

"Thank you," she beamed, pulling back.

"Can I be the godfather?" Might as well be ahead of the game.

She chuckled. "Maybe."

"Why just 'maybe'?"

She ducked her head sheepishly. "Just because."

He pointed a finger accusingly at her. "No. You have a reason."

"No, I do not, Jane."

"If this is because I fed Avery that chocolate the other day-"

Lisbon huffed. "No, Jane. That's not why."

"Is it because of your brothers? Because they don't even see Avery more than once every few months. I'm sure they will understand. Or is it about the team-"

"Let me just say it like it is, Jane. Face it. You're a flight risk."

Her words cut him off completely, and he clamped his mouth shut, eyebrows raising and throat suddenly becoming very dry. He pulled his shoulders back, attempting to make it look like her words hadn't wounded him. "What are you talking about?"

"I need my child to have someone they can count on."

"I took off _one _time, Lisbon. Once, and that was only because there was nothing left for me here. You know that. How many times do we have to go over it?"

"Cut the crap, Jane," Lisbon snapped. "You know as well as I do that there was plenty for you here. There were plenty of people who cared about you, and you just walked out on them without even looking back. I'm willing to bet there were a few times in these past few months that you were about to take off again."

"Damn, you really can hold a grudge." He was raising his voice now. "I'm sorry. Okay? I'm sorry I walked out on you. But I came back. I came back for you, and for the team, and for the CBI because I missed you. I missed Sacramento, and the team, and everything."

"Quiet, Jane," she hissed. "You're going to wake Lily."

"Don't start a fight and expect it to just end, Lisbon. The world doesn't work like that."

Lisbon's phone started vibrating on the coffee table, and she snatched it after throwing an icy glare at Jane. "This is Corbin," she answered the phone, annoyance creeping into her voice. She listened for a few seconds before she gasped and her hand flew to her mouth, eyes widening. "Oh my God," she mumbled against her hand. "What happened? Are they okay?"

Jane's stomach dropped. Something had happened. A phone call to Lisbon... something had happened to Ben and Avery.

"Yes, I'll be right there." She hung up and tossed her phone to the side, jumping up and crossing the room to retrieve the sleeping baby. "Jane, you gather Lily's diapers, formula, _everything _and put it in her diaper bag upstairs. I'm going to strap Lily into Avery's car seat." Lisbon was already hurrying to the front door in panic, tears shining in her eyes.

"What happened?" Jane demanded.

"Wayne and Grace were in a car accident. Just hurry and get Lily's stuff. We have to get to the hospital."

_**TBC**_


	17. Chapter 17

**The first thing I would like to say before you begin reading is... thank you so much for the reviews. Secondly, I would like to apologize for the hundredth time. For some reason, this story has been going round and round in circles, and it has been the most difficult story to write. Don't ask me why. I have no idea. Thank you for your support throughout the entire thing, even though it isn't even finished yet.**

**Disclaimer: Not mine.**

He couldn't keep his worried gaze off of her. Her jaw was clenched, her fingers were tight on the steering wheel, causing her knuckles to go white. She was biting the inside of her cheek. Her eyes were shining with tears that she so bravely willed away.

"Teresa," Jane whispered. "I'm truly not being a smartass while I say this: It really is not good to drive while your vision is blurred."

"My vision is not blurred," she snapped, voice shaking.

"Just pull over, and let me drive."

"I'm not pulling over, Jane." She threw a sharp glare in his direction. "We need to get there as soon as possible."

As she turned her attention back to the road, he got a good look at her. Her pulse was racing and her hands were trembling against the steering wheel. "They were hit by a drunk driver, weren't they?" he whispered.

She nodded wordlessly.

He hesitated, letting his hand linger in midair before briefly placing it on her tensed-up shoulder. "Hey, maybe it will be okay. Maybe they'll be just fine."

Lisbon looked over at him, a skeptic expression on her face. She looked as if she were about to protest, but then she glanced back at Lily, who was sleeping so peacefully. The throbbing sensation grew even worse in her chest, and she looked back to Jane and replied, "Yeah. Maybe."

X

They hurried through the hospital waiting area. Jane carried Lily in Avery's car seat and Lisbon had the diaper bag slung around her shoulder. Both set of eyes scanned the room frantically in search for Cho. Jane was the first to spot him, and he silently grabbed Lisbon by the arm and towed her toward Kimball and his wife, who was weeping quietly next to him. Cho had an arm wrapped around her shoulder, staring at the ground.

"Any news?" Lisbon asked as soon as they reached them.

"They're both in Intensive Care," Cho murmured. "They won't let me see them." He caught sight of the baby, who was now awake and was staring up at Cho with her big brown eyes. He looked up at Lisbon, then back to Lily, and back to Lisbon.

"I don't know, Cho," she whispered, immediately understanding exactly what he was thinking. _What would happen to her? _"I really don't know."

He looked down at the baby girl again, smiling a very small smile. "Hi, little girl."

"Where's Ben?" Elise asked with a quivering voice.

"He's home. I haven't called him yet," Lisbon replied.

Jane held out his arm and nodded to the diaper bag on her shoulder. "Give me the bag. Call your husband."

Without as much as a single argument or protest, she handed the bag over to him and pulled out her phone, giving Jane a grateful nod, and she turned and disappeared down the hallway.

Jane took a seat on Cho's other side, setting a squirming Lily down at his feet. Kimball, Elise, and Jane all watched her.

"It seems like we were just here," Jane commented.

"That's because we were." Cho sighed.

"That poor little girl," Elise whimpered, eyes fixed on the baby.

Jane leaned his head back against the wall, closing his eyes. He couldn't help himself from wondering what would happen to Lily if worst came to worse. He couldn't imagine that Wayne and Grace had already written up a will, or selected the legal guardian of their daughter if anything were to happen to them.

_If _they hadn't chosen a guardian, what would happen to Lily? Foster care? Adoption? Could someone openly volunteer to take Lily into their care? Someone like Ben and Teresa, or Cho and Elise? Or Jane himself? Jane understood the legal system, but not when it came to orphaned children.

He shuddered to think of the word. _Orphan. _He forbade himself to think of Lily like that. He forced himself to believe that Grace and Wayne would be fine. They'd be just fine.

_They will be just fine, _he told himself, sighing. _Just fine._

X

"Uncle Pat-wick!" came a tiny, unmistakable voice from the opposite side of the waiting room.

Jane looked up, grinning for the first time in hours. He slid out of his chair, leaning down and holding out his arms for Avery to fling herself into. Jane lifted her off the ground, spinning her in a circle just so he could hear that adorable little-girl giggle. He fell back into his plastic chair again, Avery now seated in his lap. "Hey there, kiddo. Can you say hello to Uncle Kimball and Aunt Elise?"

Avery looked over to Cho and Elise, who were smiling at her. Avery Jane grinned, squirming out of Patrick's arms and hurling herself into Cho's. "Guess what, Uncle Kimball? I watched _Beauty and the Beast _today!"

"Did you? That's pretty cool."

While Cho and Elise entertained the rowdy child - who probably had no knowledge of what was going on - Jane looked across the room, and his stomach did a little flip as he saw Lisbon resting her head on her husband's chest. Ben had his arms wrapped around her, a clear sign of romantic comfort. His face looked just as stressed as his wife's, and Jane could see it wasn't just an act. He truly cared about Wayne and Grace.

A small whimper caught his attention, and he glanced back to the infant in the car seat in front of him. Without opening her eyes, Lily yawned hugely, making Jane smile. "Tired, little girl?" he whispered as he leaned down. "It's been such a long night. You are _such _a good girl."

Lily, oblivious to the fact that she was being spoken to, kept her miniature eyelids shut. It must be nice to be her. Right now, she lived in her own little world where not much existed. No crime, no fear, no sadness. She had no idea that her elder cousin was chatting Kimball's ear off. Lily had no way of knowing what she was doing there, in that hospital. She had no way of knowing what happened to her parents, or what _might _happen to them.

Okay, so maybe it wasn't all good, being a clueless infant.

As Ben and Teresa strolled their way toward them, Grace and Wayne's doctor rounded the corner. He approached them slowly, not meeting their eyes. He looked down at his clipboard, as if something were so intriguing he couldn't look away from it.

That couldn't be a good sign.

As he reached them, Jane, Cho, and Elise all stood. Cho slipped his hand into his wife's, and Ben and Teresa hurried toward them to hear what the doctor had to say.

"I'm afraid I have some bad news," he announced sympathetically.

X

It all happened so fast.

Teresa had flown into Ben's arms, breaking down into broken, miserable sobs.

Shock swept across Ben's face. It took him a few seconds to realize his wife was sobbing, and he reached up with trembling arms to pull her to his chest.

Elise burst into tears, dropping her head into her hands, shoulders shaking furiously.

Cho swallowed hard, closing his eyes.

As for Jane, he was frozen. He couldn't move. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't _believe. _In a matter of just a few hours, he had lost two people he cared for. His eyes slowly moved to Avery, who was standing in the middle of the waiting room. Confused, debating whether or not she should cry, too. _What's going on?_ she asked softly, but no one heard her. No one except for Jane. He was too shocked to answer.

Jane's eyes dropped to the baby girl in the car seat, who had also begun to cry as if she had heard everything the doctor had just said. He slowly bent down, un-strapped her from the seat and lifted her up, bouncing her in an attempt to calm her down.

"I know the feeling, sweetheart," he whispered in her tiny ear, closing his eyes. "Believe me."

X

His phone began vibrating next to him on his bedside table. His eyes shot open, not that he had been sleeping. He glanced at the digital clock. 2 AM. He looked at the Caller ID. Lisbon.

That explains it. He didn't suppose she, or anyone else close to Wayne and Grace, would be sleeping.

"Hello?" he answered.

"I wouldn't be calling if I thought you'd be sleeping," she explained softly right off the bat, as if she were apologizing.

"I wasn't," he replied, sitting up and sighing. "You can't sleep either, huh?"

"No, and neither can Ben. I just... I forgot to call and let you know that their lawyer wants to talk to all of us tomorrow morning at eight. At the courthouse. Meeting room B." Lisbon's voice was strained, nearly broken. Jane felt her pain.

"Alright." He paused. "Do you think Lily is okay?"

"CPS will take care of her," she whispered.

"I hope you're right."

There was a pause, a brief silence between them, before Lisbon breathed a reply. "Goodnight, Jane." She hung up.

X

No one spoke as they flooded into the meeting room. Not even the lawyer himself.

Cho, Elise, Lisbon, Ben, and Jane all took seats around the large conference table, the lawyer at the very end. He finally spoke when they all faced him.

"My name is Doug Harriet," he introduced himself, nodding around the table. "The first thing I would like to say is that I am deeply sorry for your loss. I understand this must be a terrible time for you all."

"Read the will," Cho snapped. Elise gave him a scolding look.

"There isn't much to read," Harriet confessed. "Other than the fact that everything will go to Lily Rigsby when she is older."

"Then why are we here?" Ben asked impatiently.

"I'm here to announce who Mr. and Mrs. Rigsby left their daughter to, and because all of you were close to the Rigsbys, you have the opportunity to object."

Everyone exchanged puzzled glances.

"If one of you were to object," he went on. "The matter would go to legal court."

"Why would one of us object?" Jane asked, throwing a side-glance at Cho, who was giving him the same confused look.

Harriet sighed. "Believe me. I tried to advise them against it. This is how they wanted it."

"They wanted us to fight?" Lisbon deadpanned, as if she didn't believe a word the attorney was saying.

"Strange, I know. They just wanted their daughter to have a good home."

"Mr. Harriet." Elise was beginning to grow impatient. "Please. Just tell us who Lily will stay with."

"Patrick Jane."

Everyone flinched in surprise as they turned their eyes toward Jane, who was staring open-mouthed at Doug Harriet. "What? _Me_?"

"It's what they wanted. They thought you would make a good guardian for their daughter."

Jane, who was convinced the Rigsbys would have chosen Ben and Teresa, scanned everyone's expression, and it seemed as if they had been thinking the same thing.

"Wayne and Grace wanted _me _to take Lily?" he asked stupidly, as if he hadn't heard him the first time.

Harriet nodded patiently. "Yes." He looked around the conference table at the stunned faces. "Does anyone object?"

When no one said anything, Lisbon was the one to speak up. "Mr. Harriet, Patrick Jane is great with kids. I believe that is partly, if not entirely, the reason why Wayne and Grace chose him." She looked at Jane. "I do not object. However, if Jane is unwilling to take on this job, there are plenty of people in this room who _would_ be willing to. We all love Lily, and Jane shouldn't feel obligated to take on a huge responsibility like this if he feels he isn't ready." She spoke directly to Jane this time. "I just want you to know that."

He nodded, swallowing hard.

"Mr. Jane," Harriet said as he leaned forward. "The judge will most likely grant you temporary custody of Lily Mae Rigsby. If, however, it doesn't work out, or if you are not willing, there are other alternatives-"

"I want to adopt her," Jane blurted.

The room went quiet. Everyone turned their heads to stare at him, wide-eyed. Lisbon opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Cho sent him a look that silently said, _are you sure about this? _and Jane nodded back.

"Lily deserves a good home," Jane went on. "I believe I can provide her with a good environment, a good future. Maybe there _is_ someone better suited to be her parent, possibly someone in this room, but I know that I can take care of her."

Ben was the next to speak, surprising him. "He'd make a great father figure, Mr. Harriet. I believe that, and I think there are plenty of people that would second my opinion."

Jane, still a bit startled by Ben's comment, gave him a grateful look before glancing back at the attorney.

Harriet looked from Ben to Jane, then around the room, as if he were attempting to read everyone's expression. He sighed, and looked to Patrick again. "It is a long process," he began. "Inspections, interviews, paperwork and all that jazz. However, if everything goes smoothly and you pass, adoption is certainly a possibility."

Jane nodded, absorbing the information. He knew he wanted to do this. That part was a given. What he wasn't sure about was whether or not he was right for Lily, and what he _really _wasn't sure about was why on Earth the Rigsbys had chosen him. He was grateful, and he wasn't complaining. He had just assumed it would be the Corbins, possibly even the Chos.

"Alright. Thank you, Mr. Harriet."

X

After everyone had trickled out of the courtroom, Lisbon pulled Jane aside.

"I need to talk to you," she hissed, glancing up at him from beneath her long eyelashes.

He nodded.

"If you do this, you need to do it right," Lisbon said bluntly.

"I can do this, Lisbon."

"That isn't what I meant."

He raised an eyebrow, folding his arms across his chest. "Well, then what _do_ you mean?"

"If this does work out, and you do end up adopting Lily..." Lisbon paused, pressing her lips together, causing them to go white. Her expression softened a bit. "If you end up adopting Lily, you had better give her some sort of mother figure."

Jane pulled back in surprise. That wasn't what he had expected at all. "W-what?" he stammered.

"If there is anything worse than growing up without a mother," Lisbon went on, voice quivering the tiniest bit. "it's growing up with an unhappy father, _and _without a mother," she said seriously. "Take it from someone who knows. Give that girl a mother."

Jane swallowed, nodding. "I'll try, Lisbon." He smiled. "I will certainly try."


	18. Epilogue

A/N: Just so everyone knows, your criticism does not bother me at all. All I have done throughout this entire story is talk about how much this fic sucks. :) Please, do not let this piece of writing reflect on your opinion of my writing. This is my worst story, by far, and I would really appreciate if you gave my other stories a shot. They are absolutely _nothing _like this one, and most of them are strictly Jisbon, with hints of Van Pelt/Rigsby.

Now that I have rambled, here is the last chapter to my wrongly-titled story, _Flashbacks._

Disclaimer: Not mine.

**13 years later**

_Lily's POV_

It's amazing how your life can change in just the blink of an eye.

My life took a _major _turn thirteen years ago, not that I can actually remember any of it. My dad was the one who told me all about my awful past, the terrible accident that occurred when I was just a month old. I finally understand where I get the unmistakable red tint in my hair, and the brown eyes, and the never-ending hunger streak that always makes me want to eat practically everything in sight.

It didn't take me long to figure out that my parents weren't really my parents. About two years ago, I began to question my father why I looked nothing like him _or_ my mother. I never understood why they both possessed blue eyes while mine were a deep, chocolate brown. I didn't know why my hair was a light, wavy auburn, while my father had curly blond hair, and my mother was a brunette. Why was I fair-skinned and muscular while my parents were tan and medium-built?

I could never quite understand why I had such an unusual middle name. Why on Earth would my parents choose _Rigsby _for my second name? I used to always lie every time someone would ask what my middle name was. "Marie," I would tell them. Lily Marie Jane. That sounded so much more reasonable than Lily Rigsby Jane, don't you think?

It was only until I discovered the truth about why Mom and Dad had chosen the name. It used to be my surname, until my biological parents died.

Right after my father revealed the truth, he gave me a picture of my biological parents, who were apparently very good friends of his.

My mother was absolutely _gorgeous._ She had long, stunning red hair that flowed down below her shoulders. Her eyes were a liquid brown, like mine, and she had the most beautiful smile I had ever seen.

Dad says I get my eating habits from my father. I am not overweight, nor was my father. He was a smiley, goofy man with big, hazel eyes and huge biceps. In the photo, he had his arm wrapped around my mother tenderly, a sign that they truly loved each other.

Aunt Teresa, who I truly believed was my dad's sister until very recently, tells me so much about Wayne and Grace. She tells me that they both had gigantic, warm hearts. She tells me that they were so happy together. She tells me that they loved me more than anything on this planet. She tells me that they would be so happy to know that my dad, Patrick Jane, adopted me.

Life can change in a blink of an eye. In the split second of one car colliding with another, I lost two people who vowed to love me unconditionally, through thick and thin, forever. Fortunately, they left behind several people who promised the same.

Every Saturday night, our family comes over to our house for dinner. Uncle Kimball, Aunt Elise, and their ten-year-old son David usually arrive first, followed by Aunt Teresa, Uncle Ben, sixteen-year-old Avery and twelve-year-old Zane. Each Saturday night, I look around the dinner table. I see Aunt Teresa with her head thrown back in laughter at my mom and dad, who are arguing about something completely ridiculous. I see Kimball and Ben discussing basketball and football. I see Zane and David arm-wrestling, even though Avery and Elise are scolding them.

At the dinner table, I look over at my mom and dad, who have eventually given up on their stupid argument and were laughing along with everyone else. They look over at me, grinning, and I just can't help but grin back.

Dysfunctional as it may be, family is family, and I wouldn't trade mine for the world.

_Jane's POV_

I hear the front door open, and I peer around the corner of the dining room and glance down the hall. I see my daughter hanging up her coat, shaking the snow out of her long, auburn hair.

"Hey, sweetie," I call out, sipping at my tea. "How was it?"

Lily laughs. "Avery _sucks _at ice skating."

I chuckle. "She always has. I tried teaching her when she was a little girl, but she was just too stubborn."

My daughter walks down the hall toward the dining room, plopping down in the chair across from me. "She fell, and she pulled me down with her. It was so embarrassing."

"Sounds like Avery."

"Where's Mom?"

I glance at my watch. "Out with Teresa. She should be home any minute."

Lily nods. "Avery said her mom got shot at today by a suspect, and that she really needed to unwind."

I sigh. "Teresa is _way _too overprotective."

"Of?"

"Her team members."

Lily gapes. "Did she jump in front of you _again_?"

I shake my head. "No, this time, she bolted in front of Emily." Emily Cassidy was the rookie of the team, eager for any job her boss threw at her.

Lily and I both turn our heads when the front door opens again and we hear boots clomping down the hall. My wife, Sadie, smiles at us both. "How was ice skating, Lily?"

"Avery sucks."

"That's what her mom said."

My daughter laughs. "Her mom was right."

I watch Lily dive into her story about my niece falling on her face, grabbing Lily, and tugging her toward the ice. My daughter laughs as she tells her mother how Avery stumbled, nearly saved herself twice, but crashed to the ground instead. Sadie bursts out laughing.

I met Sadie at a tea parlor in downtown Sacramento. I wasn't necessarily looking for a relationship, despite Lisbon's blunt request, but suddenly I just... _found _a relationship.

I told Sadie about Lily on the first date, just to get it over with. I explained to her my situation, who Lily's parents were and that they left her with me. I told her that it was my intention to adopt the little girl, and sometime soon.

I figured that Sadie would run when I told her this. I wouldn't have blamed her. It's a lot to take in on the first date. If the tables were turned, I probably wouldn't have been a hundred percent comfortable with it either. But Sadie surprised me by simply taking my hand across the dinner table and telling me she thought it was great how I selflessly took in my friends' daughter.

The first date turned into a second date, and the second date turned into a weekend in Santa Monica. We strolled on the beach for hours, exchanging life stories and views of the world. I worked up the courage to tell her about my Angela and Charlotte. She was quiet while I told her everything, silently taking my hand without knowing that a rush of electricity was shocking me. When my story was finished, Sadie dove into the story of her teenage son's suicide, the grief that was shared between she and her husband, and finally, the heartbreaking divorce.

I proposed to Sadie a year after I met her. She was the person who stood next to me throughout absolutely _everything. _The birth of Ben and Teresa's son. The adoption of Lily. The birth of Kimball and Elise's son (who finally resorted to surrogacy.) Sadie has been there through it all.

Now, I look at my wife and daughter, laughing together, and realize I couldn't ask for anything more.

**Finally. The end.**

A/N: Originally, this _was _going to be a Jisbon story, I swear. But then I got to thinking about Avery. Even though she is a fictional character, I just couldn't separate her parents. My own parents went through such a nasty divorce, and I knew that just writing about it would be hard for me, as stupid as that sounds.

So, basically what I was aiming for was Jane getting his tender heart broken. Then Lily and Sadie come along to fix him, but the story didn't exactly tie together like I was hoping. Believe me, it was just as confusing to write it as it was to read it.

Thanks anyway for reading. I swear my other stories aren't as dull as this one. Most of them are very, very Jisbon. _Blind Date _is romantic, cheesy, and completely centered around Jane and Lisbon, and it seems to be my most popular fic. I have started another one that I am hoping to publish soon, which is strictly Jisbon. ;)

Until next time!

XO, Em.


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